should i leave my husband, stay with him, or wait to see if he changes?

Question by Sally: should i leave my husband, stay with him, or wait to see if he changes?
I have plenty of reasons to divorce my husband (liar, sex addict, joined at the hip with bossy parents). details are too long (and maybe not very necessary for answering this question), and are at:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Asm1vZZuV2B2STpxoh9JAmXty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080928090226AAESdYX

as most of the answers suggest, i think i should leave.

but, here is the difficult part. my husband doesn’t look or sound remorseful, but he is doing all the politically correct things to “make amends”, “reform”, etc. he claims he is seeing a certified sex addiction therapist for the addiction, joined the local chapter of sex addicts anonymous, got a sponsor, and i sent him to a psychologist to “cure” his lying. he got some books/workbook by patrick carnes (sex addiction expert) and claims he is going through the 12 steps of sex addiction recovery.

i asked him to discontinue contact with his parents (they are toxic – the “advise” him against me, and he listens – i cannot tolerate that), and he claims he has done so.

now, his claims are hard to verify. i saw some books at home and he locks himself up in a room and claims he is studying those books, and i have seen him rarely use his computer at home anymore, but i know that if people want to feed their addiction, they will find a way to.

he has crazy-made me for the last 2.5 years, and made me lose trust in my gut feelings, manipulating me to believe what he wanted me to believe, and invalidating my gut feelings.

i am so depressed that i cannot get out of bed many days, and i feel if i leave him i will stop eating. he is taking care of the cooking, so i feel i am falling prey to what they call the stockholm syndrome in psychology – people stay with an abuser for small, unimportant “good” things, neglecting the big, important “bad” things.

i am so confused – should i leave or should i not? will i feel bad for not giving him another chance if i leave? will i fall for another, even worse guy if i leave?

if i wait to see if he changes, how long should i wait? i don’t want to wait and indefinite amount of time waiting for him to change. he claims he is “sober” now, but sobriety for sex addiction is hard to check – there are neural pathways that need to be changed. how will i know he won’t have a slip? i don’t want to spend the rest of my life in fear of a slip.
brianna – you have to live with a sex addict to know what it is. since you don’t have any idea, you are able to make those judgemental statements. try being married to someone who is sexually and emotionally and financially unavailable to you.

Best answer:

Answer by ♥ Asian X Dreamer ♥
Sorry, but I say Leave.
He seems very bad, and if your depressed.
You should leave.
Try learning how to cook too!
It’s not that hard, i find it fun.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!