My Boyfriend is Spending a Fortune on His Kids?

Question by Boomer: My Boyfriend is Spending a Fortune on His Kids?
This guy gave up his fine Accura because he couldn’t keep up with the payments. He takes his kids to dinner regularly. During football season, he treats them and their friends to the pub. His youngest (19) totaled his car and he got him another, oh and then another because he didn’t like the second one. His next oldest (21) just cost him $ 1000 because she didn’t pay her insurance and got fines when she wrecked her car (the repair is an additional $ 3000). His oldest (27) went to drug rehab – twice.

I always pay my way when we go out, with the kids or not. I am constantly bitching at him for not holding them responsible for their actions, no less that they never offer to pay anything. He tells me it makes him angry if I mention what he does for his kids, but his income of about $ 70,000 is reduced by about half with all that he does for them.

I’m not asking for judgement regarding our relationship. I’m a guy and so is he. He divorced because his wife was an alcoholic, not because he might have been gay. He says he does all this to makeup for his divorce. I’ve told him his kids are probably happier since they separated; they prefer to be with him and I love them and they are very responsive to me also. They don’t seem to have good things to say about mom, but she lives in a mansion that my boyfriend left her, just to get rid of her.

My boyfriend says to shut up regarding the kids, but they’ve cost him so much in just the year I’ve been with him. They all want a new car or something and don’t know that I am aware that their dad can’t afford all of this. He’s just doing it out of guilt. I tell him he is “buying” their affection, although I know they do love him.

How can I just shut up as he asks, when as an outsider, I see these kids take advantage of him? As his partner making much less than him, I feel he has an obligation to me as well as his adult kids. I’ve never had children, but my dad was never like him. I had to work and be responsible. Please tell me the secret to stop telling him that his kids need to take responsibility for their actions, or what to say to him to make him understand my opinion that he is going too far with them.
By the way, I’m not “just” a boyfriend; I am his partner. Also, he was gay when he got married. He just happened to marry an alcoholic that he didn’t want to be with. I make my own money and don’t cost him a cent.

Best answer:

Answer by Sheniquah Redux
You sound bossy he gonna leave you or cheat on you if you don’t quit it. He can do whateva he wont to with his cash. You just jelous its not spent on you.

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