How to act to my brother who just completed drug rehab?

Question by poopstersgirl: How to act to my brother who just completed drug rehab?
My brother just completed rehab for cocaine and alcohol. I really don’t know what to say or what to do. I ask him if he wants to go to the gym with me, to church with me, to a movie with me. Always says no. I know he’s talking to his friends who drink and do drugs but I have no idea if they are hanging out, if he’s using, if he’s thinking about using again. I’m so afraid that he’ll fall into it again.

And his anger problems are back. He is also lying quite a bit. I asked him where he was going, he said and NA meeting (we have a neighbor who also goes who told me he wasn’t there). tonight, he went to the “gym” in jeans and chucks and a button down. I said I have no problem calling the rehab place again, or his job (the ones who asked him to go to begin with) if he starts disappearing again, like before. Then he says that if i ruin his life, he will f**k mine up even more. He’s so ANGRY, i dont know how to deal with this.

Best answer:

Answer by Nichole B
Why arent your parents getting involved? With alchol comes anger and he needs anger managment classes and possibly to back into drug rehab.

Also try not to judge him by his past actions. If he’s just been out of rehab a month or so he is readjusting to the real world. Coming out of rehab is just as traumatic as coming out of the military. Dont threaten rehab as a way to make him to listen to you because he is going to feel like he is in a corner and he is going to fight you back and he is going to mess up his life even more than he already is.

He is probably feeling extreme guilt, anger, rage, and regret and emotions that you cant understand because you haven’t been there. (And dont get there just so you can identify with his problems).

Sit him down, ask him what he wants and what he is not getting. When I left the military, I came home and my friends didn’t want to know anything about the experiences I went threw. I was a changed person because of the military but my friends still saw me as the other Nichole. Me being in the military had scared them and put a seperation between us.
Give your brother a clean slate and ask him what he needs. It will be a slow and most likely a painful process. But get your rents involved to. You shouldnt have to do this alone.

When all else fails put him back in rehab but add anger managment to the courses. He needs help with more than just smoking and the alchol. There is always an underlying source that makes us do things we regret doing later.

To tell him to stop is putting salt in the wound. You didnt know any better and don’t judge yourself. Your doing right by trying to take him to the movies but you are all avoiding the fact that he does have a problem. Just because he is out of rehab does not mean he wont slip back into it. He is angry because he has lost control of his life when men think they should always be in control.

Ask from him what he wants

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