How can you support a friend with Borderline Personality Disorder?

Question by tamisara sez: How can you support a friend with Borderline Personality Disorder?
I recently met a new group of people at an acute day crisis centre, which I attended (due to a bipolar breakdown). I became particularly friendly with a girl and guy.
The girl has borderline personality, anorexia, alcoholism, drug abuse,and Hep C.
While to start with I found it easy to connect with her, I am now struggling to know what to do. I recently went uptown with her and she got me to take back some jewellery which had broken as she was too scared and didn’t have the receipt, afterwards she confessed it had been stolen, and she’d stolen more whilst I was talking to the assistant, I felt betrayed.
She phones me up when she is drunk, and upset, but never otherwise. She expects me to buy her cigarettes and alcohol and take them to her, and slams the phone down when I don’t do it.
She has started sleeping with the guy, but she also hits him, he phones me as well in tears, saying she is so fragile and scared of men because she has been hit (I’ve been hospitalised by my ex, and would never hit a man). I get a bit angry at the constant excuses made for her. I want to help, but she won’t help herself, and I don’t want to be dragged down. She has been given Metronidazole to stop her drinking but thows it down the toilet. I feel my head is spinning, what can I do to support her, without feeling used?
Online counselor; I ahve suffered just as much as she has and been rejected, she comes from a far mpore privileged background than me, and has everyone running around after her; not just me!
I do want to be her friend but if you’d read what I put I am recovering form quite a severe breakdown myself!
I have a son who needs me to recover for him. I met this girl two months ago so she isn’t a long standing friend.
I don’t want to cut her off, but don’t want to relapse,
Sorry, what I meant was I do like her, adnd I’m naturally caring and nurturing, but it does mean people take advantage of that fact. Online Counselor: I hear where you’re coming from, but really am not strong enough for the drama, but just wanted to know how to be there, without picking up the pieces in the middle of the night

Best answer:

Answer by versantly
you can’t -the person has a disorder that will screw with your own brain. the “friend” has to modify her own behavior before she can be a friend. keep her as an acquaintance, but keep your distance.

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