A List of Things to be Afraid of

I
think your girlfriend is violent and you should break up,” your
conscience goes off sending you a warning, and then your brain
processes: “Hhhmmmm, they could be right.” But, I’ve already got
crazy, psychotic girlfriends covered in item #2.

Item #7. Never forget… to not call your landlord a “cuntfuck”
unless you have a lease.

This item is rather self-explanatory.

Item #8. Never forget… to forget everything you learned in
school.

I’m sure that few people would disagree with me on this point.
Children are herded in to these enormous buildings. You can’t
piss without permission. You can’t walk without permission.
Those who are independent are punished. It’s not education. Real
education elevates your mind and creates independence for you.
When you can’t piss without an authoritative figure’s nod,
you’re nothing more than a fuckin’ slave. Forget everything
you’ve learned. Those stereotypes you picked up between smoking
weed in the bathroom and juggling numbers in class, that style
of living that has you cowering in fear… I could go on and on.
Facts are facts, and this will always ring true: if you can’t
forget what you learn from school, you’ll be cursed for life.
Everything from your career to your family and your
relationships. Fuck school. If you have any respect for it, then
stay the fuck away from me.

Item #9. Never forget… there’s always time to change.

I suppose that’s the ultimate point of this of this list. When
I look through these items, I remember every time I’ve made a
personal resolution, a commandment to myself. And, everytime I
think of those resolutions, I think about the moments I abandon
them. They seem like difficult moments. I hear echoes of family,
telling me, “That’s because you never finish anything you
start,” or maybe I’m looking at a police officer through the
bars of a holding cell, listening to the same old argument: “I
didn’t have to bring you in here, but I did.” For every promise
that I’ve made to myself and broken, I’ve made another promise.
I guess that’s why I’ve labelled this, “A List of Things to Be
Afraid of.” Right now, I think I’m going to go out to the bar
with my friends, see if I can outdrink anyone, and see if I can
fall in love with some stranger. If anyone ever finds this list,
I’ll make sure to tell them, “Don’t take that advice to heart,
kid… Living life like that just isn’t worth it.” To all the
mistakes I’ve made, I suppose the hardest thing I have to learn
is that I can always change.

www.punkerslut.com

For Life, Punkerslu

Punkerslut (or Andy Carloff) has been writing essays and poetry
on social issues which have caught his attention for several
years. His website www.punkerslut.com provides a complete list
of all of these writings. His life experience includes
homelessness, squating in New Orleans and LA, dropping out of
high school, getting expelled from college for “subversive
activities,” and a myriad of other revolutionary actions.

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