I just want some nice kind feedback on my problem.?
Question by theskyisfalling!: I just want some nice kind feedback on my problem.?
I would appreciate it if I didn’t receive any hateful remarks. I don’t care if the feedback is positive or negative so long as it is said in a sincere and constructive manner. By positive and negative I mean telling me what I’m doing right or wrong.
So my situation is this and I will explain it as short and painlessly as possible in the essence of time and space to write in.
I will turn 23 next month and I am still almost 40 hours away from graduating college. I have been in college since the fall of 2005, but a lot of bad things have happened to me to prevent me from graduating on time. My situation at the present time is this: I am a compulsive porn addict, extremely indecisive, been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, and depression—though OCD is the real main monster of these three disorders for me personally—, have low self-esteem, never had a girlfriend, intelligent but apparently not enough to make my own decisions and act as normal people do, very very creative—I like to sing, listen to music, read, write, play video games, do jigsaw puzzles, play card and board games, basketball, run, etc.—only have three close friends that I only hang around with about once a week—we only do so b/c we’re all busy—have a dysfunctional family, tired of school b/c I’ve been in it for over 4 years, etc. etc. Most of my time is spent idle b/c I feel so guilty to break away from school b/c there’s so much reading to do and I never am caught up. I’m only limiting myself to two classes at the moment b/c I don’t feel I have the ability to keep up with all of the reading and assignments with any more classes. (At least not with the upper division classes). I don’t know. I’m sighing as I say this b/c I do realize I’m sounding like a whiner but I wish most people that read stuff like this can put themselves in my shoes. I’m trying to keep up with my addiction recovery by going to SAA and SA meetings but I keep making up excuses not to go. My main question is how can I cure my indecisiveness without shirking my main daily responsibilities and can I do this gradually? I need to somehow transform myself into a more productive person. Someone who isn’t afraid to tackle the things that I truly enjoy. At least I know what I truly enjoy. I tell myself and others all the time that my ultimate goal in life is become a successful writer of fantasy fiction. I’d like to do poetry and other genres as well. Singing was my backup but for me that’s even more of a longshot. Singing isn’t really the way I express myself creatively anyway. It was always just a way to increase my self confidence and show myself and others that I have the ability to do something and that it truly makes me feel good about myself. But writing…This is something I absolutely adore. I don’t know if even becoming a successful singer could measure up to the amount of pride I would feel if I became a successful writer. I can think of no other pride worth more to me than creating something that never existed and bringing it to life to share with others.
But my life for these past few years has been to wake up every day ( and most of the time it would be in the early afternoon) and study until I felt that I should go to bed for the next day. In between all of those countless hours I would take breaks like masturbating, play video games, watching tv, eating something cause’ I was hungry, going to the bathroom or whatever. I’ve been a slave to school and my mind has been imprisoned. I really don’t know how to break free and just allow myself even the slightest of free time to things I enjoy.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A SLAVE TO YOUR OWN SELF? EITHER MY OCD OR MY OBSESSIVE PERSONALITY OR MAYBE SOME DEMON IS POISONING ME. WE HEAR OF PHYSICAL CRIPPLES ALL THE TIME BUT HAVE YOU EVER MET SOMEONE WHO IS REALLY INTELLIGENT AND NORMAL BUT ARE MENTALLY CRIPPLED?
Best answer:
Answer by Emiiu *
i suffer from anxiety to the point that i couldn’t even finish my grade 12 with my firends .. you could try looking up quotes, writing poems, and if singing is something you enjoy maybe you could put a video on youtube or something? if you need someone to talk to my email is [email protected] 🙂
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