My boyfriend went to a 6-week rehab, advice?

Question by ♪Elan♪: My boyfriend went to a 6-week rehab, advice?
My boyfriend has/had a drug addiction (not heavy drugs though), and a couple months ago he hung out with the wrong person at the wrong time and wound up in jail. He’s very intelligent, funny, compassionate, and kind, but has issues inside that need to be resolved. Therefore, after getting out of jail (Thursday), his parents sent him to rehab (yesterday). In jail he called me at least once a day (did anything to contact me), sent me letters, etc, so when he found out ahead of time that the rehab center only allows two 15-min calls a day, he flipped out. He hasn’t called me since he got admitted to rehab, though, and after his mom visited him today, she said that he wants me to know that he hasn’t called me and won’t for a while because he needs to focus on himself. I used to tell him that, because I truly want him to, but he would always say, “I will, but you are a huge part of my life, so it’s a given that I am doing this for you too”. That worried me as he has to strictly want to do it for himself, but I find it strange that he all of a sudden decided not to call me for days when the morning before rehab he said “If I don’t call you today then I will definitely call you tomorrow”. “Tomorrow” has passed already.. Is it possible that he is strictly not allowed to call anyone other than his family, or did something suddenly make him change his mind, or did his mom maybe just say that to get me to back off? In addition to that, he now wants to go to a half way house after the 6 week program instead of going back to his parents’ house, which is a sudden change too as he recently kept saying, “I just need to get through these 6 weeks, etc, etc”. I really want him to focus on himself though, I just don’t know if he is saying these things or not. I know he’s going to change, too, some for better and for worse, but how drastic is the change? Are people even remotely the same person when they get out or are they practically strangers? I support him more than anything and really want him to have a future, but I just want to know what to expect and how I can support him.

Any advice would be very helpful. Thank you!

Best answer:

Answer by Panglee Sea-air
For now simply be his good friend and go with the flow. He is going through a very difficult adjustment. Maybe he will no longer want a serious relationship with you or anyone else – at least not until he feels good about himself.

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