Youngster heading for major trouble…?
Question by L8-4-D8: Youngster heading for major trouble…?
BACKGROUND: My S.O. and I have been together for 3 years. He has a son that is almost 8 y/o. When my S.O. was with his (second) ex-wife, she ran over and killed a man while drunk driving and under the influence of drugs. She truly got away with murder by spending 30 days in jail and 10 years of probation along with drug/alcohol treatment. She was later put back in jail for another DWI and possession of drugs. During this time she was playing the role of Mommy to my S.O.’s son. He was 3-6 years old. She had told Anthony (the son) that police are mean. She told him they hit her and only fed her bread while she was in jail for “speeding”. Not sure how much he truly comprehended of that but he now fully believes police are mean and does repeat what she had told him about being hit and not being fed. The birth mother is not in the picture and we don’t know where she is. He hasn’t seen her since he was taken away from her at one year of age. I didn’t know any of these people until later.
PROBLEM: We have caught this child stealing three times. Yesterday he stole a pack of gum while at the airport. We were in a shop buying HIM a snack. The cashier and I didn’t even see the kid take the gum and he was standing on the side of me. I noticed it hours later when the gum slid out of his pocket. He is also a firebug. He tried catching the stairs on fire while everyone was sleeping during the night.
I am seriously thinking of backing out of this mess. I have NO experience with any of this stuff!
QUESTION: Does his father take him to the local police and have the sh*t scared out of him about breaking laws and going to jail? We are paranoid that what he was told in the past will be confirmed in the childs mind about police being mean rather than here to protect the innocent. At the same time, something needs to be done with this child. He is headed down a very dark road if he doesn’t change.
ADVICE??????????
By the way, this child shows no signs what-so-ever of anger.
Best answer:
Answer by Toolride
Sounds like he has been taught from a young age to fear police by his mother and her lies. This is a problem with a lot of kids today. Parents get in trouble with the law and the children’s images of the police are them taking their parents off in handcuffs. I have been on patrol before and saw a guy walking down the street that had been arrested several time for fleeing and drugs with his son. The little boy could not have been more than 4 years old. He looked at his dad and yelled “look daddy its the police… should we run?” Its a truly sad sign of the times and how parents can have taught their children to fear and run away from the people who are here to serve and protect.
Yes, you can take him to the police station and ask if an office can talk to him. I have had several parents come to the station and do this. The officers generally listen to the parents speak and then talk to the child with the parents sitting there. Depending on the childs reaction will depend on how the officer talks to them. Sometimes it does good.
But reading your question makes me think this child might have some deeper issues. If he already fears police and thinks that if he gets in trouble they are going to tourtcher him makes me think you might want to go and talk to a counsilor or seek psychiatrical help for him. There may be deeper issues going on if he is stealing and starting to show signs of being a fire starter.
UPDATE-
Sounds like he has been taught that what he is doing is not wrong. I would definatly take him to speak with someone with professional training in dealing with children and see what they think.
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