Wife in Recovery Program?

Question by nmoehlenbrock: Wife in Recovery Program?
My wife has been an alcoholic for many years. She has had numerous…very numerous affairs with men over the years. We (I) finally had enough and left for what I thought was for good. About two weeks later we run into each other and she begs me to come home and “help” her get into a recovery program. I did. After 3 months she was doing fine but felt compelled to tell me that she was shocked that I wouldn’t stand up and share all the things that are wrong with me. !!! Well, first of all I went to support her. I was positive and uplifting about the program and it has really helped her. I don’t drink…never have. I don’t have the desire to stand up and tell a group about myself…particularly because I feel pretty normal! So now, I’m back out……until I can figure out a way to: (make myself just as screwed up and needy for a program as she is) make my life right so we can both be on the same page. I jumped back to help her and new it’s like she’s better than me. She promises things are going to change and is sorry for over 10 years of lying and misery. What do you think?

Best answer:

Answer by Marie
She is confused. She has a program (or thinks she does) but it is not your program, and you cannot work each other’s program. Ask her what her sponsor thinks of what she is saying to you. And go to Alanon to get your own program and friends to support you. You will love it.

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