Whats more important… my self esteem or letting my bf be addicted to porn and make me feel worse bout myslf?
Question by blueydgrl: Whats more important… my self esteem or letting my bf be addicted to porn and make me feel worse bout myslf?
OK… so, I have been with my bf for 8 months now. When I first met him I was 4 months pregnant with someone elses baby that was out of the picture. I was fine with porn in the beginning of our relationship but as time went on, I started to feel insecure about it. Sometimes when we argue we say alot of things to each other that we don’t mean or just that we know will hurt the other person.. weird I know! Anyways, so I had my son and soon after that we got into a arguement and well I was packing my stuff as I was leaving him and he said ” you need help?” and I responded “NO…. Im a big girl” and his response to that was ” You sure are a big girl”!!!!! Just because he knew I was insecure. Im not a big girl in any means but not small either. That killed me and I can’t seem to get that out of my head thinking that he actually meant it. A few weeks later I was going out with a friend and he was mad bc I was going out and told me “good luck finding anyone… your so ugly noone will want you”! So now not only did he say I was fat but ugly too! So, I am totally insecure about myself and I caught him looking at porn again!!! It made me feel even way more insecure at the point I just want to get fake boobs and become anorexic! I told him how I felt about it as he already “knew”. And for some reason he acts like he totally understands how much it is hurting me. He even had me put a lock on his porn on demand with only a code I know bc he says he don’t want to hurt me like that anymore. I feel kind of bad about it and feel like I am being selfish, controlling, and a horrible gf bc of it. I made him a promise that when I love myself again I won’t care about him watching porn but until then it just hurts me beyond belief and I can’t hardly look at myself the way I should. He told me that when I love myself he will watch it with me only. Should I feel bad about this bc I know all guys watch porn and I use to also as a woman. I just cant help but think of the things he said to me to hurt me and don’t know how in the hell to get those out of my head bc he said he didn’t mean them and it was just bc he knew I was insecure about myself and knew it would hurt me.
My question is this… should I feel bad about having low self esteem bc of the things he said to me to hurt me and feel bad about putting a lock on his tv when he asked me to..? I feel horrible and feel like I shouldnt feel insecure but HE MADE ME THIS WAY! I was always alittle insecure but nothing like I am NOW!
Best answer:
Answer by Moody
Nothing is more important than your health! Nothing. Not even a porn watching, hurtful boyfriend. If he knows this makes you feel bad and doesn’t care, then either leave him alone, or get an extra boyfriend to make bf feel bad.
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