What do you think of my Harry Potter fanfiction character?
Question by frozenskies: What do you think of my Harry Potter fanfiction character?
(I know this is a lot to read, and I would be most grateful if you did read it and give me feedback. Just a note: I may be 16, but my writing skills are not so useless that I wouldn’t incorporate the flaws I listed into my story. Reading a Mary Sue fanfic is horrid, but writing one…? How very boring. Thanks in advance.)
Name – Sari Babylon (I speak Moroccan Arabic. I was thinking using Sahar, which means ‘dawn.’ Pronounced like Sare. And yes, she is half Moroccan.)
House – Ravenclaw
Appearance – Unruly black hair usually in a messy braid, brown eyes, pale, hardly any curves, average height, wears glasses, and pretty if she actually tried.
Personality – A skeptic, logical, quiet, pessimistic, dark sense of humor, brutally honest, subtlely manipulative, observant, sarcastic, stubborn, and protective of the people she trusts.
Faults – Sucks at Divination, Astronomy, and Quidditch. Not good at long-term relationships. Interest in the dark arts, but not to an extreme. An interest in older men [Remus (doesn’t act on it), Severus (acts on it)]. Alcohol abuse and addiction to sex at one point in the story after a mental breakdown (the story progresses into her adulthood too). She bottles up emotions until she bursts, and she is a bookworm of sorts. Envy (of Tonks, for example). Others in personality above.
Fears – Torture, death, dark closed speaces, abandonment, and embarrassment.
Talents – Academics in general, most notably Charms, DADA, and Potions. Manipulating subtlely. Occlumency. Good memory.
Acquaintances – Hermione, George (the more level-headed of the two twins), and I was debating adding Neville or Luna. Luna is in her house, but she might be annoyed at her beliefs (the stuff in the Quibbler). Or Neville because he’s a nice kid, but maybe he’s too nice. What do you think?
Dislikes – Cho Chang, Pansy Parkinson, Professor Trelawney, and Tonks (I love her, actually!).
Background – She was adopted by a muggle archaeologist and a wizard who couldn’t conceive a child. She was raised in Morocco, but her family moved to Ireland when her foster father was promoted (he has a job in the Ministry). She is not a transfer student.
My opinion – My parents died when I was a baby too, so I decided to base her emotions after mine. You can’t miss what you never had (to me, anyway). So, in my opinion, the who “angsty Sue” past doesn’t count. Or does it? However, she is parseltongue because she is distantly related to Voldemort. Very “Sue-iesh”, right? However, the storyline does not change and she does not play a major role.
Please no Mary Sue litmus tests. I want your honest opinions. Please and thank you in advance.
Cheers. xx Beth
P.S. – If you are interested in this story, message me. Thanks again.
Best answer:
Answer by butterbeer
This sounds good, i wouldnt mind reading it aactually.
You’ve put a lot of thought in, i think luna would be a good choice, often opposites attract, they could be unusual best friends.
I like everything you have, you’ve created a very interesting character!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=An9witKceWa0bqB86Kx8QHbsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090805021214AAaDqnE please?:)
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