What can I do to stop feeling so crazy and depressed?

Question by : What can I do to stop feeling so crazy and depressed?
I don’t know where to start. In 2002 I think I was 13 or something my father died of lymphnoid cancer but had a heart attack and I found him. Before he got cancer I wished death on him and I don’t know why! He was so nice but he got on my nerves but why would I wish death on him?? He was a meth addict, alcoholic, pothead, etc. I think he doing meth when he had cancer my niece would do meth with him her dads friend gave him pills when he had cancer. I didn’t go to his funeral and I remember crying the night he died I’m 21 now and just had a dream about him and woke up crying. I also have OCD and maybe Bi-Polar and a alcoholic. I am at a loss I feel like killing myself so bad its sick I feel like hell I don’t know what to do anymore I can’t understand if I should go to rehab (already been to detox 4 times) my brother and his friend tends to think im doing it for attention or ima hypocondriac its like um I am shaking really bad I hate to go to detox but I’m afraid I’ll have a withdrawal seizure (never had one) my mind is fried out I never been sober I kept covering up my feelings should I see a therapist will it help with the grief of my father 🙁 I think therapy might help me stop drinking?? I can’t go to rehab I got driving lessons and I need a job I am overwhelemed and extremely lonely I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday in a letter I wrote him in detox because I don’t wanna be around drugs and alcohol and we have nothing in common we don’t talk or go anywhere what the hell is wrong with me I don’t know what else to add
I post this on here cuz I don’t have no one to turn to my brother is mean and tells me to get over it hes in to astrology and wicca my mom is depressed and I don’t really have a bond with him I am very very lonely and its very hard for me to connect with people my whole life what should I do!?

Best answer:

Answer by Kaytlin Jones
You have to take care of yourself first. Therapy is a good idea in the situation. It sounds like you are harboring alot of negative emotions which is perhaps why you are having a hard time staying sober. There are medications you can take to prevent withdrawl symptoms from alchohol, but you’ll need to go to rehab to get them. I would worry about getting clean and getting help before getting your license or a job because you won’t be very productive at either if you do not stay sober. You are not the only one going through this, know that, but also know that no one else out there is going to fix you, you need to take those first few steps which I hear are the hardest.

What do you think? Answer below!