Unbelieveably uncontrolable 11 year old (supernanny material)… advice please?!?

Question by Mother Duck and 3 ducklings: Unbelieveably uncontrolable 11 year old (supernanny material)… advice please?!?
My partner has an 11 year old son with his ex. They have been separated since he was 5 m/o so he is not acting out because of the split or anything. He has an older bro 14 and sis 12. His mother has completely lost control of the children and absolutely nothing can stop the boys from doing whatever they like. His 14 yr old brother is getting up to lots of bad things out of the house resulting in police and social services involvement. If he misbehaves and gets grounded he will just leave the house in a torrent of verbal abuse. Taking away privileges doesnt work such as removal of wii/ xbox, making them miss out on the usual family fun stuff doesn’t work. Councilors, social workers, drug intervention people, school teachers, you name it and they are involved. The kids have even been put into care and that hasn’t worked. They have been split up, living at different family members houses and that didnt work. We contantly sit them down and talk to them about what they are doing to themselves and it just goes in one ear and out of the other. The oldest sibling has set an example for the rest to follow and now his 11 year old brother is doing the same.

How can we possibly stop their behaviour or is it too little too late?

We have been a constant fixture in the kids lives for the past 10 years (as a couple) and the stability we provide for them shows in their behaviour when they are here… because they are angelic! I’ve often wondered if they would benefit from living with us however we have 2 small children and an extremely small house and no means of moving so it would be impractical, besides that, I wuld be the one left, while their dad is at work to deal with these out of control children and they certainly aren’t going to listen to me once the novelty of being here wears off.

So, my question is, other than the avenues we have already tried are there any other things that could make these kids do as they are told and behave like normal kids?
I would like to add that ‘I’ personally have very little say over how the kids are diciplined as they stay with us 1 night a week and are very good with us. It’s the mother who split them up because she couldn’t cope… I cant see how palming them off to someone else would help them either but then I parenting is vastly different from hers and my children would never be allowed to get to that stage in the first place.

Best answer:

Answer by Sophia
Have you tried a backhand? 🙂

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