The Poor Slobs Guide to Becoming a Millionaire – Drinking and Other Poor Slob Millionaire Killers
you in that place, then your chances of suffering a violent death dramatically increase. If you drive to get some place while drinking the chances of you killing yourself, or killing someone else dramatically increases. The horror of this possibility, and there are unfortunately thousands of them, is the harsh reality of a mother holding the decapitated head of her eight year old daughter following an accident in which a drunk driver plows into the front of their car with enough force to destroy this family in the blink of an eye. Not funny.
Since were on a roll here, let’s keep it going.
Short of an IV of Drano, there is still no cure for AIDS. You get it, you die. Maybe not as fast as before, but you will eventually die. If you drink and then f***, your chances of living a shortened life go up considerably, which means that you will not have the chance to make enough money to afford the prescriptions you will need to live, let alone become a millionaire. If you drink, f***, and don’t get aids or some other life altering STD, then you risk the following.
It’s quite possible that the person you’re hooking up with will violently attack you during the mating ritual. Statistics show that most of the violent, rapes, assault, and other attacks that can maim you do not get properly reported due to the fact the people involved were drunk and too embarrassed by their alcohol induced actions to report it. Drunk or not, rape is a nasty despicable thing and those inflicting it should be executed. But it can be prevented by not being drunk and putting yourself in the situation for it to happen in the first place.
For those of you who decide to ignore the millions of warnings that are out there about drinking and someone getting pregnant, then you have begun another life cycle of nastiness for someone who has no say in your terrible decision, a child.
If you’re the girl and you do not know the name and location of the father, then congratulations, you have just become the mother of a fatherless child. If you know the father, then congratulations, you are the proud parents of an unplanned child who in all likelihood will end up in a difficult marriage or depending on your current level of justifying your humanity at the bottom of a vacuum tube in an abortion clinic. Pro life, pro choice, the fact remains, that you have just created a life that would not be there to live through circumstance created by you, had you not been drinking.
All of the stories that you hear about drinking being a fun and humorous experience are leaving out a lot of what really happens. Drinking is usually a messy affair with brutal consequences that far outweigh the few minutes of fun you might have while doing it. So for a better life, leave it alone.
Drinking will ultimately kill you and others who are around you. Take the money that you would have spent on buying alcohol and invest it in a CD or something. And for all the girls out there who think they will find prince charming by drinking and dancing at a club. Think again. The only thing you will get is a short video of you projectile vomiting that will ultimately end up on youtube.
Bottom line, don’t drink.
Hunter Thomas is an award winning Photo/Journalist/Producer working in the Washington D.C. market for the past 20 years. Beginning his career as an assignment editor for a local television affiliate, Thomas went on to work as a photographer/editor for CNN, ABC, NBC and CBS. For the past five years he has been working as a freelance producer/photographer producing the documentary on bio-terrorism title “Anthrax For Breakfast”, “Kids and Guns”, “24 Hours of Daytona” and “The New Mash”. As a credentialed White House photographer and a general assignment producer, Thomas has covered most of the major breaking stories during the past two decades. He has received awards for his coverage of the guerilla wars in Central America and most recently received a Telly award for a documentary produced on the threat of biological terrorism. He is also publisher of the www.themilliondollarcafe.com the home page of future millionaires website.
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