Stroke Recovery: Outpatient Rehabilitation

in a number of ways, not the least of which is modifying his home to make everyday activities easier.

Enjoy the time you have together. It’s easy to get caught up in all the details of his rehabilitation, treatment, and restrictions. What’s not so easy is living in the moment. Try to help him remember and do some of the things he used to like to do. If he can walk, take a gentle stroll with him, even if he needs to move slowly. If he can’t, perhaps he’d like to get out in the wheelchair with you pushing. An ice cream cone may not be the best thing for his cholesterol, but as a one-time treat, the joy it brings him may outweigh its detrimental effects. Of course, you have to weigh the risks and benefits — letting him smoke a cigarette, for instance, is not a good idea — but don’t let his illness keep him from appreciating life’s healthier pleasures, especially when you can share them.

Give him the opportunity to leave a personal legacy. Most people think of a legacy as the property a person leaves behind when he dies, but the word has a deeper meaning. According to geriatric expert David Solie, an older person is driven by the need to create and leave behind a nonmaterial legacy that gives greater meaning to a lifetime of experiences and relationships. For more information on how you can help an older adult leave a legacy, see Your Parent’s Legacy: A Beginner’s Guide.

Seek help if you think he’s depressed. As many as half of stroke survivors will become depressed, according to James Castle, a neurologist at Stanford University. Depression may make him more susceptible to pain and fatigue and may even delay his recovery. Although it’s not always easy to sort out clinical depression from the normal sadness accompanying a catastrophic event like a stroke, there is a difference. Be on the lookout for these warning signs:

– Frequent crying episodes
– Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
– Poor appetite or increased appetite
– Sleeping too much or not enough
– Increased agitation and restlessness
– Loss of interest in life
– Expressing thoughts of dying or suicide

The person you’re caring for should be evaluated for depression if he has had several of these symptoms for more than two weeks. For more information about depression after stroke, see What to Do When Your Parent Experiences Depression After a Stroke.

Accept his limitations — and your own. You aren’t responsible for his feelings or decisions. You can’t force him to follow his doctor’s dietary recommendations, stop smoking, or seek treatment for depression. Your job is to encourage and support him when appropriate and state your misgivings when you think he’s endangering his health. When you’re thrust into the position of caregiver, it’s not always easy to remember that he’s an adult. In the end, how he chooses to live the rest of his life is up to him.

Take care of yourself. Remember the safety demonstration flight attendants give before a plane takes off? “Make sure your oxygen mask is in place before helping others with their masks.” You’re no good to a stroke survivor if you’re a physical and emotional wreck.

Don’t feel guilty for taking time to care for yourself. Your needs and happiness may be overshadowed by his illness for a time, but if you neglect your own life for too long, you do a disservice to yourself and everyone who loves you — including the person you’re caring for.

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