sponsor/sponsee mismatch in 12 step programs?

Question by Sally: sponsor/sponsee mismatch in 12 step programs?
my husband is a sex addict who has started a 12 step sex addiction recovery program. i think his sponsor is not a good match – he is middle aged and never-married, and has no idea what marriage is supposed to be like. he encourages my husband to be secretive, not heed my needs, assert himself with me and assert that “his recovery comes first”, and completely ignore me. anyone else had any such experiences with sponsors being detrimental to the relationship (maybe AA folks)? i think married sponsees should have married sponsors.

Best answer:

Answer by bored
never had any experience but it doesn’t sound like that guy’s a good influence on your husband. i would ask the recovery program about it and talk to your husband. tell him that he shouldn’t be ashamed of his problem but he can’t ignore you like that, because that is something to be ashamed of and you won’t tolerate it. good luck

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