Should My Child See a Therapist?

Should My Child See a Therapist?

Many kids need help dealing with school stress, such as homework, test anxiety, bullying, or peer pressure. Others need help to discuss their feelings about family issues, particularly if there’s a major transition, such as a divorce, move, or serious illness.

Should My Child See a Therapist?

Significant life events — such as the death of a family member, friend, or pet; divorce or a move; abuse; trauma; a parent leaving on military deployment; or a major illness in the family — can cause stress that might lead to problems with behavior, mood, sleep, appetite, and academic or social functioning.

In some cases, it’s not as clear what’s caused a child to suddenly seem withdrawn, worried, stress, sulky, or tearful. But if you feel your child might have an emotional or behavioral problem or needs help coping with a difficult life event, trust your instincts.

Signs that your child may benefit from seeing a psychologist or licensed therapist include:

developmental delay in speech, language, or toilet training
learning or attention problems (such as ADHD)
behavioral problems (such as excessive anger, acting out, bedwetting or eating disorders)
a significant drop in grades, particularly if your child normally maintains high grades
episodes of sadness, tearfulness, or depression
social withdrawal or isolation
being the victim of bullying or bullying other children
decreased interest in previously enjoyed activities
overly aggressive behavior (such as biting, kicking, or hitting)
sudden changes in appetite (particularly in adolescents)
insomnia or increased sleepiness
excessive school absenteeism or tardiness
mood swings (e.g., happy one minute, upset the next)
development of or an increase in physical complaints (such as headache, stomachache, or not feeling well) despite a normal physical exam by your doctor
management of a serious, acute, or chronic illness
signs of alcohol, drug, or other substance use (such as solvents or prescription drug abuse)
problems in transitions (following separation, divorce, or relocation)
bereavement issues
custody evaluations
therapy following sexual, physical, or emotional abuse or other traumatic events
Talk to Caregivers, Teachers, and the Doctor

It’s also helpful to speak to caregivers and teachers who interact regularly with your child. Is your child paying attention in class and turning in assignments on time? What’s his or her behavior like at recess and with peers? Gather as much information as possible to determine the best course of action.

Discuss your concerns with your child’s doctor, who can offer perspective and evaluate your child to rule out any medical conditions that could be having an effect. The doctor also may be able to refer you to a qualified therapist for the help your child needs.

Finding the Right Therapist

How do you find a qualified clinician who has experience working with kids and teens? While experience and education are important, it’s also important to find a counselor your child feels comfortable talking to. Look for one who not only has the right experience, but also the best approach to help your child in the current circumstances.

Your doctor can be a good source of a referral. Most doctors have working relationships with mental health specialists such as child psychologists or clinical social workers. Friends, colleagues, or family members might also be able to recommend someone.

Consider a number of factors when searching for the right therapist for your child. A good first step is to ask if the therapist is willing to meet with you for a brief consultation or to talk with you during a phone interview before you commit to regular visits. Not all therapists are able to do this, given their busy schedules. Most therapists charge a fee for this type of service; others consider it a complimentary visit.

Factors to Consider

Consider the following factors when evaluating a potential therapist:

Is the therapist licensed to practice in your state? (You can check with the state board for that profession or check to see if the license is displayed in the office.)
Is the therapist covered by your health insurance plan’s mental health benefits? If so, how many sessions are covered by your plan? What will your co-pay be?
What are his or her credentials?
What type of experience does the therapist have?
How long has the therapist worked with children and adolescents?
Would your child find the therapist friendly?
What is the cancellation policy if you’re unable to keep an appointment?
Is the therapist available by phone during an emergency?
Who will be available to your child during the therapist’s vacation or illness or during off-hours?
What types of therapy does the therapist specialize in?
Is the therapist willing to meet with you in addition to working with your child?

The right therapist-client match is critical, so you might need to meet with a few before you

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