should I keep trying to have a relationship with my daughter or just give up?

Question by bumble100bee: should I keep trying to have a relationship with my daughter or just give up?
My daughter is 24 and is recovering from Heroin addiction. She and my grandchild are currently living in a halfway house. When My daughter first went into rehab she got mad at me and decided to stop speaking to me, again. We had always had a rocky relationship, she is very selfish and she blames me for her birth mom abandoning her. I was very angry and upset with her boyfriend, my grandchilds dad, he introduced her to heroin and she decided to stick by him. Also, the reason she is in rehab was while high she attacked me and I turned her into the police. So as part of her punishment she was to go into rehab. I have been in therapy myself and I have since forgave her and her boyfriend They both went into therapy and they are both better now. The thing is that I have attempted to keep in touch with my daugther but she doesn’t make any attempt to keep in touch with me. I write her letters, send her cards and call her weekly. She has never send me any cards and doesn’t bother to call me. She uses the excuse that she has a pre-paid phone and can not afford to call me. But she makes the time to keep in contact with the boyfriends mom. This week the rehab moved her and my grandchild to another Halfway house and she still hasn’t called and let me know the new address or phone number. At this point I am begining to wonder if I should just drop it and move on with my life. The only reason I keep trying to keep in touch with her is because of my grandchild. I love her so much and I always send her cards, weekly, to try to keep in touch.

I have offered to go to the rehab for family counseling, and she hasn’t accepted. (my therapist is after me to write a letter to her counsler. I said no because I feel it is her therapy and that would be interfering with it) I offered to let her move back in with me but she prefers the halfway house. She even refers to the people that live there as her new family.

I guess my question is how long do you keep reaching out to your child before you just have to move on. I figure that if I do stop contacting her, eventually my grandchild will seek me out and we can start back up our relationship then. Any advice, no matter how painful would be appreciated.

Best answer:

Answer by maddie
if i were you i would write a final letter telling her that you’ll always be there for her & that you love her. just give her some time….shes going through a lot of life changing things & is still very young&immature. she still has a lot of life to live & doesn’t really understand that you’re one of the only people in her life that actually cares about her….but she will. someday she will. until then you just have to keep living your life & making yourself a better person.

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