Should I get involved? My friend’s boyfriend is a total jerk and I genuinely care about my friend!?
Question by Kalysa: Should I get involved? My friend’s boyfriend is a total jerk and I genuinely care about my friend!?
I know it’s not my place to judge or to tell anyone who to date or who not to date but I honestly cant stand my friend’s boyfriend! He is a “recovering” heroin addict, or so he claims. It’s in brackets because I highly, highly doubt that he is. My friend is adamant that he is recovering and is willing to give him money for “treatment” or whatever else he requires. He has been obnoxious, arrogant, rude and disrespectful since day one. I shrugged it off initially because I didn’t want to cause any tension between me and my friend, but I cant stand it anymore. I cant stand how he is. He does not care about her at all, and he is using her only for her money. He’s 23 and lives with his parents, which by itself wouldn’t be a big deal, however he does not pay them rent, does not have a job, and alternates stealing money from various people, living exclusively off government cheques and the generous “aid” from those enabling him.
We do not live in the same city. I purchased a $ 500 plane ticket to come see her, and was excited to spend some time together without anyone else. We had plans together. However, she says she no longer can afford to go to the city (she lives in a small town about an hour and a half away from the city where we were gonna hang out) so we’d have to do stuff in town. The reason she has no money is because she is lending all of it her jerk boyfriend! I really dont know what to do. I’m wondering if I should just disregard this entire friendship because it’s evident that he’s more important.
Best answer:
Answer by HRH Posh Pooch!
Your friend is an adult and quite capable of making her own decisions. You are free to give her advice and to refrain from associating with her while she is with him. That said, there is really not much else you can do. It’s her life, and if she’d rather spend more time with him than with you, maybe you need a new friend.
Answer by altruistic
Kalysa, I don’t think it would do any more good to continue berating him. For some odd reason, he has got a hold on her and it will only cause friction between you and your friend. She is besotted with him now, but someday soon she will wake up and realize what a bum he is. All you can do is be there for her when she is rid of him. She is young and will learn about bad relationships. Just be her friend. Guys come ‘a dime a dozen’…the good ones are more rare, but they are out there. You are a real friend and they are rare too. Good luck to you , my dear. :- )
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