Should I continue dating someone with a drug and alcohol addiction that does not want help?
Question by Mark Rain: Should I continue dating someone with a drug and alcohol addiction that does not want help?
So I’ve been dating someone who admits to having an addiction to drugs and alcohol. She used to do heavy drugs, but only smokes weed now. However, that is every day, multiple times a day. She has lost a good job because of this in the past, but still smokes. She used to go to AA and admits to an alcohol problem also, but she still drinks. She got a DUI a year ago and has a breathalyzer in the vehicle, but still attempts to drink and drive at times. She’s almost 30 and still lives with her parents (always has). She has mentioned she has no real interest in getting back into recovery or stopping her behaviors. Actually, I think she’s in complete denial. She freely admits to being addicted, but seems to think that her behaviors don’t impact her life negatively in any way.
It’s just hard because, foolishly I will admit, I decided to give the relationship a shot, even when I knew of these issues very early. We get along well and have fun together, and we have developed strong feelings for each other since we’ve been dating (for about 3 months now). She treats me fairly well, but is admittedly a bit selfish at times which has resulted in a few issues and concerns on my end. She also has a history of cheating and has even told me once (when drunk) that she could never say 100% that she would never cheat again, that “sometimes situations arise” and that “we’re all human”. This is in contradiction to what she says when sober – that she would never cheat again. More and more I’m also seeing the effects of her lifestyle such as her mood swings based on whether she has or has not either drank or smoked.
I knew this probably wasn’t a good match when I met her, but didn’t really listen to my gut. I’ve been thinking I should end this relationship now, before we get even more attached. It’s just very hard because I love her and can see the great person she is inside. Any thoughts or suggestions?
Best answer:
Answer by AnnMarie
Listen to your gut. There are so many people in this world. You sound like a “good guy” and should find someone who fits your own description. There are girls who keep getting into abusive relationships and can’t find a decent guy who can treat them right. Go and find a sweet girl with a clean slate. You deserve that type of girl. Why gamble your future. Life is too short.
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