Returning To The Bar, Alcohol, Drug Days-Memories

newspaper obituary on the floor. There was Jesse. I knew she was saying goodbye to me. Jesse is not the only “dead” person to say good bye to me. A relative recently told me that whenever the family leaves New Jersey to return to the South that a Mosquito finds its way into the car. I already knew that it’s not just a Mosquito, it is someone from the “otherside”. I receive regular “bug” visits from deceased friends and relatives.

The name “Shavon” sounds similar to a younger woman who recently hugged me. I’ve been thinking much about her. God was using this bar situation to mention her again. It’s a strong chance that she and I “may” have some form of relationship in the future. It’s a long story which I’ve previously written about. This life is all about opportunity. I’m no longer interested in “opportunities” as I am in longevity. I think that the “otherside” is attempting to pound in my head that nothing in this life is long term (at least not any more).

A friend came in the bar tonight. I’ll call his name Dave. Dave was a friend of my relative. When  we were young teenagers my relatives would invite many male teenagers to the home. Violence was abundant in those days. My father would beat the crap out of me. Teachers would beat the crap out of students. Your friend’s father would beat the crap out of you. Bigger kids would beat the crap out of smaller kids. It’s just the way it was and you didn’t question it. They used to say that Dave was feminine. I made it my goal to toughen this guy up. As the years passed Dave toughened up. Many years ago, Dave was with a group of men right before they were arrested. Fortunately for Dave he missed that arrest.

Also many years ago Dave “beat” a close relative of mine. “Beat” means when a person gives another person finances and is scammed. That female relative was fortunate to have a giant “country” boy for a boyfriend. The following week we saw Dave at the bar. I decided not to get involved. There are certain rules and my relative was always “playing a fool”. My relatives huge boyfriend attempted to intimidate Dave, but he didn’t back down. To be honest, I was proud of him. I always get plenty of free drinks at that bar. I made so many “boys” in to men. Those violent years were very painful. Yet they made me who I am. I hate bullies. I hate those who think they are smarter or stronger than others. These other men know that it was me who forced them to sink or swim. I was trained the exact same way.

Tonight I aked Dave about a former friend. Dave acted like he didn’t know who I was talking about. That’s how bad life is. Everyone is afraid to talk to anyone. Dave then had the audacity to ask me for some “change”. That was funny to me. Life has really chaned that guy. I remember when he was afraid of his own shadow. I’m now proud of him and me (who toughened him up). I gave Dave a dollar.

The night went well as my older cousin was at the bar. I showed everyone a picture of my nepthew who looks exactly like my older cousin.

The sad things about this life are those who are no longer with us. Even those old locations which have been removed or upgraded took “pieces” of us with them.

What makes me glad is that I stayed who I always was. I was determined not to let this violent, apathetical, and dysfunctional world change me.

It’s not about looking at what we lost or don’t presently have. It’s about being thank-ful for the opportunities that are daily before us.

This Article Can Be Freely Edited And Utilized As Long As Credit Is Given To Its Author (Gary Colin).

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