Question about 12 step program and the powerless bit?

Question by Jigi: Question about 12 step program and the powerless bit?
I was a smoker for close to 30 years. I started when I was 11 and quit about a year and a half ago.
I tried many times and would usually last only a couple of days. I considered joining a 12 step program but never did, and just read the 12 steps today.

So the question I have is this, when reading about the 12 step program the first step is admitting that you were powerless over it. Well I quit on my own so looking at it from the 12 step viewpoint does that mean I was not powerless over it?

As a side note to anyone who has had trouble with alcohol or drug addictions, I humbly apologize for anything I may have said or thought that was negative about you. Until trying to kick the nicotine habit I never had any clue how tough it was to kick an addiction.

Best answer:

Answer by Karen_Imm
Hello, I have many years of experience working as an addictions counselor/clinical supervisor. I have worked with many treatment approaches and am very familiar with the 12 steps. I too am a former smoker.
The 12 steps can honestly be abit difficult to just understand by just reading them. I would always sit with my clients and really explain how to look at the meaning for each step. Keep in mind that each
step will hold different meaning for each person.
I honestly think the answer to your question is to be found right in your question itself.
Firstly your question clearly allows me to see that you are open minded, willing to accept and looking to change. I can recognize these strengths in you as you openly shared empathy for those caught in addictions. You also show honesty. You spoke of now finally “getting it”in regards to how tough it can be to kick an addiction. That is exactly what being powerless means. It means that yes it can be done but it is harder than h___To do and stay in the new change(being smoke free)can also be a tough ordeal.
Just two nights ago I facilitated a group of those dealing with addictions. For one lady it was smoking. I asked her what all the positives to smoking are for her. This is a very, very powerful have to get us to see why we used, shopped, smoked etc… At first she struggled but then realized and shared that smoking relaxed her, it was very social, it helped her fit in -esp. as a teen, it gave her a buzz, it was in her system and her body was addicted as was her mind/thinking etc…
I then shared that what we all what to get out of our addictions is by no means a bad thing. We are just trying to meet human needs such as escaping, being social, feeling up or relaxed etc… it is just that wemust select healthy ways to get those needs met. Now that is a big part of being powerless. We are smart enough to know that it would be better to engage in hobby to escape but that is way, way, way harder to do. It is fast and easy to light a smoke and get that rush or relaxed feeling in a few seconds. It takes much longer to escape into gardening, painting, cooking etc…. Yes that is also what is meant by being powerless. We know the healthy thing to do but it is just so much harder to do. We might eventually do it but our fight is the powerless part. Staying away from the smokes can be done but it can be so d___miserable esp. the first yr. or two. That is what is meant by powerless. congratulations on quitting. That means you must have discovered your personal strengths to help you meet your needs. I hope this helps. It really just means that addictions can be halted but man it takes every bit of healthy power we have at times esp. in the beginning. Also if one slips and has a smoke it feels like we have lost our power for a bit.

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