Pacific Gardens “Luxury” Apartments in Ventura, CA – chihuahua completely freaking out

Looking for a place to throw loud parties? Have a yappy ankle-biter that most apartments refuse to allow just because it barks all day? Car alarm set to “ultra-sensitive” and/or giant, lifted pickup truck with no muffler (classic combination)? LOOK NO FURTHER!! Pacific Gardens is dedicated to accommodating tenants whose lifestyle choices make them targets of discrimination merely because they disturb other tenants on a daily basis. Pacific Gardens is ideal for: * Ditzy bimbos who think they’re Paris Hilton. * Wannabe white rappers who think they’re Eminem (NOTE: You don’t have to actually “B” a rapper to qualify! Dressing like one and cranking your tasteless music while hotboxing with your buddies will suffice). * Families with lots of unsupervised kids who can’t afford a house. * People who live in their cars. * Child molesters (we have several already and are always looking to expand our diverse and tolerant community!) * Motorcycle thieves (you don’t have to live at Pacific Gardens – just stop by every so often in the middle of the night!) * Car thieves (you can use Pacific Gardens’ ample parking facilities to store the cars you steal). www.vcstar.com * People looking to test fire their new semi-automatic handguns (there’s a designated area for this – it’s in the carport near the dumpsters). * Cops – imagine the convenience of living where you’ll be spending most of your shift! * People who never need to sleep anyway due to cocaine/methamphetamine addiction. * White …
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