need advice on my life, as it really sucks right now. Outside views please?
Question by Nunya: need advice on my life, as it really sucks right now. Outside views please?
My husband is a control freak. He hit me like 7 years ago but promised he would never do it again – which he hasn’t. For the most part we have a good life, he works steady, etc – but he does really enjoy telling people what to do (mainly me).
His 17 year old son just had a son and he has now decided we are moving 1800 miles away to be near his family. This wouldn’t be a problem but we have 6 dogs, 3 of which we have bred in the past for extra income until we figured out the over-population problem, the last one we took in was a rescue and a former bait dog.
I have recently become ill with MRSA – which is obvious due to patches across my face. I used to think I was okay looking but now I feel so down about myself even though it was not my fault that I have this (I am so paranoid people will look at it and say eew herpes, but it’s not!!!!) I had worked until it became active and now I am “off schedule” so I am relying on my husband for income. I am told this will become active at least 7-8 times a year.
With this move he is saying that we can only take 2 of the dogs – meaning I will have to either find homes or have the other 4 put down. I am sick over this. He’s only doing it because he “has” to set a rule for me to make a decision, because otherwise I would be excited about moving to a warmer climate, the sun would be good for my skin (helps kill the infection) and the warmer climate would be good for my back which mainly becomes bothersome in winter months.
I do not want to put these dogs down, I’ve had to do so in the past with an injury and I still haven’t gotten over it. I have told him we could easily keep them out doors in the warmer climate and rotate a couple in the house at time (all are house-trained and fur is short). Nope, his way or no way. These dogs are grown and members of the family, it is really hard to rehome older dogs. We have been together 10 years and as I say, things have gotten better but there is still obviously a problem. We broke up a few years ago for about 3 days when I had a really good job and during this time he slept with a co-worker – because he was “hurt”. I found out months later by accident when we were getting along well again and I got back at him for that (because I was “hurt” too).I have learned to never trust him again in that regard because of how I didn’t figure it out the first time. You know I actually fear that if I didn’t go with him, he would hook up with the same **** just to make a statement to me…..My pride tells me one thing – don’t take a chance of letting her “win” (or any of the others that there may be)…..My head says to try to keep the house going here and keep the animals (but I’m not sure how I can do that with an infectious disease taking over my body) and if somebody else gets him, good riddance, have fun making him happy!!!….but my financial situation tells me I have no choice, I have this “plague” and no income.
I was already so depressed over this situation with the MRSA, and my husbands work cutting all insurance over a year ago so I am struggling to get meds and feeling gloomy from it all and now I have this new battle to try to tackle. I really kind of want to slit my wrists but I don’t have the courage to do so and I don’t have the right kind of pills here that would just let me go to sleep and not wake up. Otherwise I would really consider it right now. Normally he gets mad, and will back down on something if I make a valid point, this he will not, it’s an extra burden on me, my head is swimming right now. The dogs are pit bulls btw – sweet, smart and friendly with people and animals but you can understand the problem I may have trying to find them a new home. Oh AND 2 of hubby’s brothers do drugs – I think one is rarely employed and does “ice” when he has the chance (not sure if that is meth?) and I think the other one does crack but continues to work and makes decent money. That is another factor in this, I don’t mind my husband drinking but don’t want this other crap to become an issue either if he hangs out with his “bro’s” on the weekends.Also the house we live in now, we are buying land contract and will be “ours” in 2 years. I know the owner would continue the agreement in my name if I could manage the 0.00 payment. Hubby said his “non-user” brother that tends to avoid the other brothers though he lives close by had a house for rent but now he’s not sure how to get ahold of him so we don’t even necessarily have “that” house but he will find an apartment. I asked if he doesn’t even know where we are going to live how does he know that he can even have his two dogs? – but there’s no arguing with him and I am going nuts in a depressed funk. I am sorry to ramble but I just may be heading to a nervous breakdown over this and he says he’s moving in 2 weeks – he would like for me to come but I have to “follow his rules”.
again – how do I leave with no income???? I have always been a hardworker prior to this but do you want me even handing you a hamburger with a noticable infectious disease across my face???
Best answer:
Answer by bellydancer
Darling, I didn’t even finish this whole thing. I got to the middle and made up my mind. Your life and husband suck so bad that you have to go on Yahoo!Answers for help. Leave him. He’s abusive. If not physically anymore, then emotionally and mentally.
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