Need a bit of help with my novel, please?
Question by Mortified Penguin: Need a bit of help with my novel, please?
First off, I’ve got a confession to make: I’m not writing a novel. I’m writing a short story. I just couldn’t resist putting that as the question. Just thought it was the corniest way I could possibly phrase it, and when I imagine someone with a heavy English accent saying it, I can’t help but smile. So….
Need a bit of help with my short story.
It’s a “murder mystery” story. Why go with that genre? Because I have to. It’s a school assignment. Now I know that might SEEM like it belongs in “Homework Help”, but it sure as sh** doesn’t. You can get answers to math problems and corrections for poor grammar there, but it isn’t the place for creativity. Just like school. It’s a place for empirical questions and answers. I need creative input here, and since it’s creative input related to writing a story, what better place for it than here?
Also have to come clean about something. I’ve asked this before. Once. In Homework Help.
I did not receive answers.
To the point:
I have this basic premise for my story so far: It’s a murder mystery story. Since murders are typically solved by the police, the protagonist shall be a police detective. The person who was murdered will be some sort of mobster, and drugs will be involved. I’ve decided to try to go against the grain by having the murderer be a cop.
Expounding on that: The mobster is involved with drugs somehow (I’ve picked heroin, because marijuana is too soft, cocaine is too Miami-esque, meth is for trailer trash, and the others like PCP and Acid seem to party-esque.). The mobster paid off the cop to get him to “turn the other cheek” while he goes about his drug selling business. The mobster is eventually arrested in a drug bust. An Internal Affairs agent convinces him to become a witness in a case of police corruption, in which the cop he paid to ignore his drug selling is implicated. The cop knows the mobster will testify that he took bribes. The cop tails the mobster one night and murders him. The next morning, our protagonist, a police detective, arrives on scene. He eventually learns that the victim (the mobster) was arrested for selling heroin, and was a witness for Internal Affairs in exchange for immunity. Thus he suspects a cop is behind the murder. He looks further into it, eventually begins to suspect the murderer, pursues him.
I’ve decided to set this in New York City, since it’s just a good place for a generic crime related story. So the protagonist is in the NYPD as a detective. But I need help choosing a name for him. The guidelines for that: I just need a generic, but realistic, sounding name. The detective can have a typical white or Hispanic last name, but nothing stereotypical like”Bob Williams” or “Jose Lopez”. I’m considering having him be Irish, so I’d like some good Irish names. The detective cannot be Italian (Due to the mobsters being Italian). More notes: The detective is middle aged, just an ordinary detective. Not an alcoholic, renegade, or divorced because his wife “Thought he was married to his job”. I’d like to avoid anything too cliched.
For the mobster, the only Italian names that occur to me are Grand Theft Auto related names, so I need help with some non-stereotypical Italian names. The internal affairs agent can have any ordinary name. Need a couple more generic Italian and Caucasian names, but that should do it.
This is what I have so far:
The street had been cordoned off to obscure the crime scene from curious pedestrians. People were standing on their tip-toes in an attempt to get a glimpse of the dead body laying on the sidewalk. Detective (First name) (Last name) ducked under the “DO NOT CROSS” tape and approached the scene. He immediately recognized the body.
“That’s (Italian first name) (Italian last name)” he said.
And that’s it. What an absolute masterpiece. I get that I haven’t given y’all a lot to work with, but I just can’t move on if I don’t solve this name problem. That’s why I’m here. And I realize that I don’t have to turn in a masterpiece for a school assignment. I could very easily write this thing up in an hour and get 100/100. But I’m not trying to write a story good enough to get a perfect score. I’m trying to write a story that’s good. This is one of only three chances I’ve gotten, throughout school (And I’m one week from graduating), to actually enjoy writing something. I am NOT going to half-a** this.
Any names, general writing tips, advice, facts about police culture and procedure, additional knowledge about Internal Affairs, mobster culture, or even criticism on what I’ve got or the general outline of the plot will be welcome.
A description of the body would come after that excerpt. I really need names.
I don’t live in New York City, but I assume it has crime, including murder, which is what I have to write about. It’s called “fiction” because it doesn’t have to be realistic, and in this case, it can’t be realistic if I set it where I live. I can’t write about what I know, because I’ve never been involved in a murder. But just so that I’m not just guessing the entire time, I came here.
Best answer:
Answer by King of Hearts 2
I could picture everything you’ve written except the body. You should go more into what the dead body looked like. Not just stereotypical descriptions of bloody corpses but facial features, what he was wearing etc. Etc.
Try these sites for the italian names:
http://www.ourbabynames.co.uk/italianboys.php
http://www.italianames.com/italian_surnames.php
Answer by LJ
I take it from the fact that you use the word “y’all” that you don’t live in NYC!
I do, and I must say, I’m curious as to why you set this story in NYC? Are you under the misapprehension that NYC has a great deal of crime? If so, you’d be wrong about that.
NYC used to have a crime problem, but today it’s the safest large city in the U.S. Even when crime was a problem, it was never anywhere near as bad as it was made out to be on tv.
I always say, write about what you know. Do you know anything at all about NYC? If not, don’t set your story here. You will end up looking foolish when you get all the details wrong.
Coffee stands' owner defends baristas' attire
Birnel's last conviction in 2005. At 12, Birnel began doing meth in the aftermath of a family tragedy: Her mother, Mary Elizabeth “Cookie” Birnel, was stabbed to death by her father in a grisly, high-profile Spokane Valley case. Rick Birnel used a … Read more on The Spokesman Review
'Breaking Bad' ends after five years of intrigue
Things can always turn around. We are only humans. We are not God. Besides, he cooked meth to help pay for his treatment, did he not? Seems kind of silly to me. Arguably, Walt did not have to start cooking meth to pay for it, either. There were other … Read more on The Justice
If Walter White Had Obamacare
As he says in his final scene with his wife Skyler, he was never cooking meth for his family. “It was for me,” he admits. “I liked it. I was good at it. And I was really—I was alive.” Obamacare isn't meant to help people like Walter White, who see … Read more on Mediaite