My mom has been addicted to crack for 10 years, what should I do?

Question by Brandy: My mom has been addicted to crack for 10 years, what should I do?
My mom used to be a wonderful mother, more than 10 years ago. She used to cook for us (my sister, and step-father), everyday. She used to clean, and exercise all the time. She was like my best friend, and was always there for me. Until April 16th, 1999 (her 31st birthday party). I was 13 going on 14 in May, at that time. My step-dad’s birthday was also April 16th, ironically, so they had a huge birthday party. It was pretty fun, but went to sleep at my cousins later that evening. After that night, things have never been the same again =(. Apparently, she was in the basement that night with my step-father and his friends. His friends offered him a hit I guess, so he then offered one to my mom as well. His friend advised to not let her take one, but she insisted to try it. It’s crazy how trying it just once, can change your life forever. I had no idea how bad the drug was until they both got addicted to it.

As the time flew by, they fell into a serious crack addiction. The addiction eventually tore their marriage apart. My mom lost her job, and became a pathological liar. They would have several different crackheads in and out of the house often at night. I knew what they were doing, because I began to find broken crack pipes and such. My mom told me straight up that she craves it, and it gives her a rush after every hit. The smell of it was so awful. It smelt to me, like someone who has bad breath sneezing or something. She started cheating on my step-dad with his friends, and not showing up for weekends at a time. He began not coming home at night, and returning early in the morning to get ready for work. When I would confront her about it, she would never listen. Since I was a teenager, I would just come and go as I please. I saw it as freedom, but eventually got pregnant. I started ditching school, and then dropped out once I turned 16. No one stopped me, and I wasn’t thinking about the consequence. They would give my sister money, and let he sleep at her friends when ever she wanted. My sister was young, but knew what they were addicted to. However, she just saw it as freedom as well. After having my son at 15 years old. Things became rough. They stopped paying for the water, electricity, and phone. I had to move in with my grandparents, due to the poor living environment. I told my grandparents about their problem, and they got together with my step-dad’s parents to attempt an intervention with my mom and step-dad. They went to their house and stayed talking to them for hours. They all cried together, so I thought they finally seen the light. Unfortunately, it did not work though. The problem became worse. My mom and sister’s dad eventually divorced, and sold the house.

My mom then met another guy, who had a good head on his shoulders. He was not into drugs or alcohol, and has an awesome career. He purposed to my mother, then wanted her to move in with him. He lived in a town 2 hours away, so my sister and I followed. We actually thought that since we were moving away from the drugs, that it would bring our mom back to how she used to be. It didn’t work though. She found the drugs rather quickly, and began to disappear on him. We would be at home with him while she was gone. He would be going crazy and not understand why this was happening. He didn’t know of my moms problem. We couldn’t stand to see him like that, so we told him the truth. He was devastated, but at the same time wanted to help her. After years of trying to help her, he finally divorced her. During that time though, he hired a private investigator to follow her. He stated that she has turned to prostitution. He divorced her at the beginning of this year.

After the divorce, she was missing for about two months. She began dating and using multiple men for their money. Once they became aware of her drug problem, they kicked her out. She is still in the little town, and calls me once in awhile from a different guys number. Every time I talk to her, she says she is clean, and is trying to get her life back together. Which has been her same lie for years. I’m at the point where I don’t care anymore, but feel like I still need to do something about it. I have tried to call intervention, and have always tried to talk to her about it. Nothing works, and all she does is lie and deny. What should I do? It’s been 10 years already. Please help..

Best answer:

Answer by Archer2000
Let her go.

Your mom has a terrible illness that cannot be cured by anyone other than herself.
If she is clean and sober, let her prove it and not just say it.

If you continue trying to help her, she will never hit bottom, lose everything and realize what she has done. You may also spend/waste a great deal of money that returns nothing to you.

What do you think? Answer below!