My husband denies what happened. Is this “abuse”?

Question by Sadness: My husband denies what happened. Is this “abuse”?
I left my husband a little over a month ago. We had many issues between us, including the fact that we were both bringing children into the marriage and trying to blend our families. My husband became very controlling and very strict with my children. I had tried to talk to him about this, and he just told me that I was ‘butting in’ and that my children needed the discipline that he felt they had not received prior to my marrying him (they are 11 and 9, by the way, and are not ‘bad’ kids at all.) Things went from bad to worse and I think my husband felt like he was losing that control that he so desperately craved. The last night I was in the house, I went into the living room (where he was going to be sleeping, but was just watching TV at the time) and decided to get on the computer since I couldn’t sleep. He told me to get off the computer and go to bed. I told him I was tired of him treating me like one of the children and that I’m an adult and will do as I please. The fight escalated and ended with him grabbing me around my throat; then grabbing me by the arm and jerking me out of the chair and onto the floor. I left the next morning.

We have discussed counseling, etc., but my husband absolutely refuses that it happened that night the way I say it did. He insists that I’m ‘exaggerating’ and making the whole thing up. He says he just took my hand and lead me out of the chair, and that was all.

Have any of you ever been through anything like this? Have you had someone do something like this and then deny it? Or, am I making a ‘mountain out of a molehill’ like he says I’m doing?
Wow. “Lilmommy,” you sound just like my husband.

Best answer:

Answer by ranger_822nd
he’s either in a true state of denial – or does not want to admit it because he doesn’t want you claiming that he physically abused you when you file for divorce

and – yes grabbing you – pulling you out of the chair and onto the floor – IS ABUSIVE

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