Michael?S Mistake: Eight Ways To Turn The Michael Phelps Pot Scandal Into A Valuable Teaching Moment For Your Kids
wrong: If your son gets caught cheating on a test, it doesn’t mean he is in any less trouble just because Tommy was caught fighting at school. Teach them that the only offenses that matter are their own, and that they should be their own litmus test for what’s right and what’s wrong.
Remind them that admitting mistakes and apologizing speaks volumes. With sponsorship deals, future training, and of course, his reputation all on the line, it can be a big temptation for someone like Michael Phelps to want to deny the story, explain it away, or to try and fly under the radar and not comment. Instead, he admitted to making a bad decision on national television and he apologized. While it may not change what happened, it’s a step in the right direction and it’s a demonstration of humility on Phelps’s behalf, one that speaks more to his character than a compromising cell phone photo ever will.
It’s important to make sure that your kids understand that an apology isn’t an instant fix, but it is a necessary first step towards making things right. If you avoid or deny the things you have done wrong, it can do further damage to your overall character. Admitting your mistakes and apologizing to the people you’ve affected is the first step in restoring the faith and trust they once had in you. And you should also remind your kids that simply apologizing does not erase their transgressions. Tell them they must live their apology every day by not repeating their past mistakes.
Remind them that everyone deserves a second chance. Yes, Michael Phelps made a bad decision, and, yes, he should have known better. That doesn’t change the fact that, superstar swimmer or not, he’s still human. That means he is bound to make mistakes from time to time, and he deserves the chance to rise above. Explain to your children that just because Phelps made a mistake, it doesn’t mean that we automatically write him off. Just as they should forgive a friend who has apologized for a mistake, we must allow Phelps the opportunity to admit his mistake, to apologize, and to prove that he should not be defined by this one event. And even more importantly, when it’s their turn to make the mistakes, they will want others to forgive them as well.
A huge part of the outcome of a crisis is determined not in the crisis itself, but in how you handle it. And this is a great opportunity to teach your kids that they shouldn’t race to judgment when the people in their lives make mistakes, redemption is always available to those who seek it, and everyone deserves a second chance.
If there is one truly good thing that comes from all this, it may be the number of parents who will be sitting down with their children in the coming weeks to talk about drugs, role models, money, and fame. Those are tricky conversations to have and, however unintentional, Michael Phelps has provided parents with an opening. At the end of the day, I’m confident that these conversations will stick with our kids longer than any fallout from Michael Phelps’s infamous marijuana media scandal.
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About the Editor:
Kelly H. Johnson is an attorney, writer, and the mother/stepmother of five sons and one daughter. She holds a BBA from the University of Notre Dame and a law degree from the College of William and Mary, Marshall-Wythe School of Law. She served as law clerk to the Honorable Harry L. Carrico, then Chief Justice of the Virginia Supreme Court, prior to entering private practice with the law firm Williams, Mullen, Clark and Dobbins. She remained there, in the firm’s litigation department, until becoming a full-time mother.
An occasional lead singer in a local rock band, Ms. Johnson has written for both local and national parenting magazines including Richmond Woman on-line, Memphis Parent Magazine, Charlotte Parent, V Magazine for Women, Fifty Plus, and Family Fun. She is a frequent contributor to the widely distributed Richmond Parents Monthly, and her work appears in the compilations The Imperfect Mom-Candid Confessions of Mothers Living in the Real World (Doubleday), It’s a Girl-Women Writers on Raising Daughters (Seal Press), and in the forthcoming Love Wins (SmileyBooks).
Ms. Johnson lives in Richmond, Virginia, with her husband, Fred, and their children, who outnumber them three to one.
For more information, please visit www.abettermanbook.com.
About the Book:
A Better Man: True American Heroes Speak to Young Men on Love, Power, Pride and What It Really Means to Be a Man (Brandylane Publishing, Spring 2009, ISBN: 978-1-883911-84-3, .95) will be