Meth.what have i done?

Okay, ima try not to make this too long. I’m 18, and i live in a pretty small town, everyone knows everyone, well anyway, I met this guy, London, in feburary08, we stayed together until July09, he was perfect, absolutely amazing, treated me better than I could of ever dreamed, there was just one problem, he did meth, well of course I tried it, fell in love with it, and got addicted fast, London introduced me to all of his dealers, Scotty, was the one that always had the best dope, and kept me and London in good supply, well the meth made me turn into a monster, I said and did things i would never do, London wanted to stop using because I was losing so much weight and was turning into a bitch, He tried to keep me away from it but i always went and found me a hit, me being a pretty skinny girl, it’s not hard to find what you want, So I went to Scotty everytime London tried to make me quit, I had a job and had money to buy the meth, but Scotty told me there was a way to get it alot cheaper, sex, and of course i fucked him, I had more meth than i knew what to do with and so I left London, broke his fuckin heart so i could get geeked, I started dating Scotty, he taught me how to cook it, how to sell it, and then he taught me how to shoot it up, I got on the needle pretty bad, But one day i went into town to buy some camp fuel, and fertilizer to cook up some more dope, when i went back to scottys he was in jail, there was a bust while i was gone and Scotty and his brothers went to jail, I couldnt be alone and i needed a place to live so i went back to London, of course he took me back, I stayed clean for about 2 weeks, then I just couldnt take it anymore, I had to get more, So i went to Londons cousin, Cory, he could always get dope, I went over there stayed the night me and cory geeked until about 5 in the morning and then we passed out, I woke up at 7am, with london at the window staring at me, the love of his life in bed with his cousin. That was it for me, I knew i had a problem and I needed help, I entered rehab in Jasper in October09 and came home Jan10 I am completely clean now, but i have lost everything. I am so disappointed in myself.