Messed up soon-to-be stepson…?

Question by L8-4-D8: Messed up soon-to-be stepson…?
BACKGROUND: My S.O. and I have been together for 3 years. He has a son that is almost 8 y/o. When my S.O. was with his (second) ex-wife, she ran over and killed a man while drunk driving and under the influence of drugs. She truly got away with murder by spending 30 days in jail and 10 years of probation along with drug/alcohol treatment. She was later put back in jail for another DWI and possession of drugs. During this time she was playing the role of Mommy to my S.O.’s son. He was 3-6 years old. She had told Anthony (the son) that police are mean. She told him they hit her and only fed her bread while she was in jail for “speeding”. Not sure how much he truly comprehended of that but he now fully believes police are mean and does repeat what she had told him about being hit and not being fed. The birth mother is not in the picture and we don’t know where she is. He hasn’t seen her since he was taken away from her at one year of age. I didn’t know any of these people until later.
PROBLEM: We have caught this child stealing three times. Yesterday he stole a pack of gum while at the airport. We were in a shop buying HIM a snack. The cashier and I didn’t even see the kid take the gum and he was standing on the side of me. I noticed it hours later when the gum slid out of his pocket. He is also a firebug. He tried catching the stairs on fire while everyone was sleeping during the night.
I am seriously thinking of backing out of this mess. I have NO experience with any of this stuff!
QUESTION: Does his father take him to the local police and have the sh*t scared out of him about breaking laws and going to jail? We are paranoid that what he was told in the past will be confirmed in the childs mind about police being mean rather than here to protect the innocent. At the same time, something needs to be done with this child. He is headed down a very dark road if he doesn’t change.
ADVICE??????????
BTW- this child shows no sign of anger. We have brought him to physicians, school counselor and two professionals and they just say he isn’t ADD or ADHD, he “chooses his actions” and needs to learn right from wrong. Because of his age, they say there isn’t a program available for him. We live in Florida.

We were in a different airport by the time I saw the gum.

Best answer:

Answer by Melanie T
Paranoia will ruin you,in all honesty.

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