Men are not always at fault as I have read…?

Question by Scott T: Men are not always at fault as I have read…?
I have been married for over 20 years, and I married a young woman who was with child. Built my world around them and tried so hard to be a daddy and husband I did not have while I was growing up. My wife took a very prideful, “I am perfect” stance from “the git-go!” I wanted children so badly that I just tried to make peace with her no matter what and hung on for my dear life. Since of many years of marriage she has managed to have at least three known affairs with other men, put me down horribly with her family, friends, and her religious community. I allowed her to control what I ate, what I wore, and who my friends were. I blame myself for allowing this…In the early years of our relationship she physically assaulted me and has verbally abused and manipulated me since the first year of our marriage. Nearly all of my family and all of my old friends stop talking to me. I never really knew why and over the last few years, many of them have told me that it was because my wife was so controling and they felt that there was no room left for them. I have always known that something was wrong but it took some interventions from old friends to wake me up! I feel ashamed that I let this go on for so long but last week I told her I no longer wanted to be married and within a few days my home became so full of paranoia and strife that when she asked me to leave, I left freely. I have taken back my finances by switching funds from our joint account to an account that is specifically used to pay bills, which I do 100% of the time. She has a fairly large amount of money “tucked away,” but when I did this transfer, she became very upset and has worked hard to turn our kids against me. She has the whole world convinced that she is this perfect Christian wife, mother, friend, and family member. They don’t know her like I do! She spends about 1-3 hours a day in prayer and reading the Bible, and zero time working on our marriage. I told her I was done and no longer desired her in my life, and she decided she would move out of state. We only have one child left at home. She has less than a year left before she can be on her own. I don’t pretend to be a no fault guy, but for many years my life with her was “work, church, and home.” I have never tried drugs and seldomly drink and I have never smoked cigarettes. Based on her great disdain for me over the years, one would think I was a monster. At times I wonder if I would have been treated better if I had been a jerk and hung out at bars and such…

Best answer:

Answer by Bre
sounds like you are doin the right thing

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