Is talking about rape an Anathema?Having read few badly worded Qs from axn?

Question by IC: Is talking about rape an Anathema?Having read few badly worded Qs from axn?
, I will try to ask this question. Let us take child abuses out for the purpose of this question. Before i put up my questions. Let me state some facts.

-In more than 90% of rape cases the alleged victim is known to the accused(who is single) for reasonable period of time.

-A large proportion of reported rape cases are disputed i.e there is no evidence of large scale physical violence.

My questions:

How do women get affected by rape?

I can understand “physical abuse” aspect of rape. But then most rapes have little evidence of grave physical abuse.

I am told of psychological aspect of abuse. But then why is psychological aspect considered as grave as comparing it to murder. What exactly is this psychological aspect? Is it driven by the fact that the victim is looked down upon by others in society or by own self e.g it is very likely that a man may get surrounded by goons, demeaned and beaten up by them. How do you think such an attack on man is any different from one on woman.
I mean I understand that rape is a crime, but why is there such a baggage attached to it. Why is rape not consider as yet another crime instead of something which is heinous and is frequently equated to murder. Why????
Zen… that is exactly what i want to know…

All of us who may have been physically abused, too have undergone same apprehensions and threats. There are plethora of cases of much harsh physical violence(I have seen them myself…i mean not to me but to some people when i eventually visited them), but none of those crimes are equated to rape and none of those crimes can even be dreamt of carrying as much baggage.

It would be ridiculous to assume that those much harsher physical assaults did not result into sense of shock and fear in lives of those male persons.

And if it the mind not wanting to have sex e.t.c that you talk about, what exactly is that which is going on in the mind of victim.

Lastly we should be bring apathy of “judicial system” into mind, because as we all agree rape is a crime irrespective of whether judiciary convicts or not. Apathy of “judicial system” I think is a totally different subject as I too have undergone it in a different context.
Elanour B: I have not heard of rapes are primary or secondary medium of spread of STDs.
Let me put this in another way: “Hypothetically is every rapists were to wear condom would it make rape any less a crime. No certainly not. So even in those remote case, STDs is can be an argument to classify rape is crime but what makes it a heinous crime equated to murder. BTW, the accused has as much fear of contracting STD as is the alleged victim. I do not think those rapists are any fools to not know about it.
Serena…Yes i agree many to time physical hurt is more threatening than a financial/ mental/ psychological hurt. Thought it varies from person to person and place to place.

However there is something that very clearly distinguishes rape from a physical assault both to women and to society as a whole and that is what my question is?
Professor… I went through crime statistics and Even i amazed at such high proportions.

When I was much young too used to think that rape is all about a villain appearing from dark corner, committing crime and then vanishing back into darkness. And then I used to wonder how come I have not seen or heard of any rape anywhere anytime so far in more than 2 decades. And then i found out underlying reasons…
Eleanour B: I saw it is shawshank redemption. Bite the dick off. While i do not deny that oral cases do not happen as i know nothing, but that bloody criminal has to have some guts to force oral rape.
Nicky…I do not agree when you say rape is not about sex. Why would not rapist beat the shit out of victim woman instead of raping her if all he wants is to control and avenge her. Why does he go only for rape which is sexual in nature?

Even if(though i do not agree), I take your argument that rapist may think that sexual overpowering is more powerful than physical over powering,why does he think so. Who makes rapists conclude that sexual overpowering is more satisfying that physical over powering? I am sure in is the society and women themselves who give rapists that sense of pride or satisfaction in sexual assault. In that case does it mean that society and women if did not care much about sexual assault, there would be no rapists?
I tend agree with you nikcy, when you “women are also more in touch with there emotions and feel things very deeply”.

But more than that, no matter how much I may want not to believe,I think protecting her virginity is the primary cause of women feeling hurt. I think human society(men & women) the way it has evolved has put virginity of woman very high in pedestal. Men prefer virgins and women prefer to be virgins. It is another story that woman empowerment for its own vested interests may want to put virginity down, but I still feel that is broadly how society has evolved.

I want to be wrong on this, but no matter how much i try to think about various gender issues,i do not end up disproving this very concept.

In fact i have even stared to think of evolutionary angle to women being less promiscuous,more loyal and faithful and virgin for their final partner.May be modern society has put too much pressure on women,that they can not choose to remain virgins for their final partner.
Ohhh.. I just read the other question on GWS about “women being as promiscuous”.

Best answer:

Answer by David G
you’ll get criticised, but germaine greer has said almost exactly the same thing

Add your own answer in the comments!