I’m depressed but my parents will not pay for me to get help?
Question by oh so devious!: I’m depressed but my parents will not pay for me to get help?
I’ve been depressed for three years now. Last year I broke down. I was in a hospital three times and I was on meds. The problem was I was on meds and getting no therapy. I thought that the treatment wasn’t working out so I weened off the medication. Now, here I am a year later – just as depressed as before. I still self harm and I don’t have any motivation to do anything with myself. I think about killing myself every night. Now it’s even worse because I graduated high school in June and now I’m going to community college. I feel like I’m just going to community college because I feel obligated to, not because I truly want to. My college doesn’t even offer any programs I’m interested in…so that just adds even more to how hopeless I feel. There’s such a lack of direction in my life right now.
The problem is my parents don’t have health insurance. I told my mom yesterday I was depressed again and she told me therapy wouldn’t help. She told me just to talk to her about my problems. But I don’t think she can help me. I’m still trying to resolve my issues I’ve had in the past – I’ve been sexually abused (called the cops last year, there was nothing they could do so they dropped my case), physically abused (I remember a time my dad and I got in a fight and he drug me across the kitchen floor by my hair and threw me into the kitchen cabinet….that’s just one time and one person), and I’ve suffered from an eating disorder and emetophobia. All this among other things (panic attacks, high levels of stress, misophonia, there’s so much I just can’t list here). I also have endometriosis but I can’t get treatment for it because we don’t have health insurance. I know these problems are too much for me to handle alone. I really do need help.
I feel hopeless. Last year I watched both my parents battle a drug addiction. Before my mom went to rehab, I was considering killing myself. I told my dad I needed to get help right away, but he told me to stop stressing my mom out. Ever since then, I have a hard time opening up to my friends. I can only let things out every once in a while on the internet. I’m scared to open up to my family and friends because I fear they will all think I’m whining or I’m an attention seeker.
So…what can I do? My parents make too much money for me to apply for any kind of reduced health care (they make around 150k a year). I’m going to be 18 in October, so I would just go out and try to find a job that would provide me with some sort of health benefits but I don’t think I’m in a position to be able to work. Is there anyway I can get help if I still depend on my parents but they won’t pay for any help?
The thing that hurts me the most is that my dad will shell out 150-300 dollars for a bottle of pills (he relapsed a few months ago) but my problems aren’t nearly as important as his. It just makes me feel so worthless and unimportant.
Best answer:
Answer by blooooo
First off, you need to stop feeling that other people’s thoughts and values of you are important. What YOU think of yourself is important. You can only heal yourself. All a therapist will do is talk out your problems with you, help you see that you can heal yourself.
My parents didn’t buy me anything I wanted, not even a digital camera. Three years later, they quickly bought my 14 year old brother a camera. They were so strict they wanted me to drop out of college. I was depressed, wanted to hurt myself. Nobody would ever even ask me “are you okay.”:
I opened up to my friends (if they really are your friends, they WILL listen and NOT judge). I told them living at home with my family who treat me as property and someone without any feelings, opinions, or wants (even to pursue college education), I thought that my life was hopeless and without direction. They encouraged me to do what I feel is right, which was to leave home and finally see that what I think of myself is important. Only I can feel worthless and unimportant.
So what I’m saying is, you can spend hundreds or thousands on a therapist, or go see a counselor at your college for free just to talk about your problems. Or you can take up a new hobby, hit the gym, start opening up to your friends and actually taking the initiative so that one day you will be successful in whatever you end up doing and you can help your future children out, and you can tell them what you went through and solved on your own. DO NOT let your parents determine your self worth. They aren’t living your life. You go to school, work a job, and try to figure out what direction you want to head in life. There is nothing wrong with feeling like you don’t know what you want to do. Read a ton of books, take career assessments, and even transfer to another college if that’s what you end up wanting to do. Life is a journey and none of this stuff would have been happening to you if it weren’t meant to make you stronger and smarter in the end.
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