Im 15 almost 16 about to break. Im in too much trouble!!!!!! just kill me pleasE!!?

Published May 16, 2010

I’m 15 almost 16.
I have 13 Misdominors.
2 Felonys.
I have been in and out of lock up since I was 14.
I have been to 3 different treatment programs.
I have A.D.D./Manic Depression/ and social anxiety.
Was raped when I was 14 and police were unable to do anything about it because they found out while i was locked up that he went back to mexico, and he was 34 years old with a wife and kids.
I have an physically abusive dad that abused me and my older sisters whom are now out of the house.
I have trust issues, i cant trust any guys my last boyfriend cheated on me with 5 girls.
My mom cant afford counceling or medication.
My sister is in and out of jail too, she has two kids and an abusive husband and they are both addicted to pain pills- Methadone, and alcohol.
My brother has AIDS from a dirty heroin needle and refuses to take his medication because he wants to die, he is addicted to heroin. The say my sexuality is out of control because i will do it when i get really messed up with 3 guys at once doing it 10 times and letting them ejaculate inside of me..
my current addictions are- cough medicine, alcohol, cigarettes, unprotected sex and weed.
I dropped out of school because I cant do it. My A.d.d is too severe. I am on probation so i have to have some form of school so they put me in adult ed. and I havent been going at all for 3 months and my mom doesnt know i havent been going, and once my judge finds out i will have another charge for violation my probation, but i just cant do it. Cutting my arms with scissors or punching the wall calms me down.. The only people i hang out with are people who like to do bad things because “Im that girl your parents told you to stay away from” I grew up in a home with my older sister always being in trouble, getting pregnant at 16.. While I was growing up my parents never EVER said “I love you”… im in tears right now just from typing that..

My court date is March 18th and they will be putting me in community placement, im not sure what that is but it sounds like foster care!

i dont have any good friend to talk to about this and i cant talk to my mom or meth-addicted dad about any of this… i need help.. please?
i am also a theif, big time. i steal money from anyone and my theft charges are stealing cough medicine. i drink alcohol a lot and i always end up drinking too much.. that ive woken up and my friends told me that i had slept with multiple people in one night. i will do any drug i can get, and do multiple drugs at once..

Im 15 almost 16 about to break. Im in too much trouble!!!!!! just kill me pleasE!!?

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