I think my step-father is over medicating my disabled mother and not caring for her effectively. What do I do?

Question by Powerless in Oregon: I think my step-father is over medicating my disabled mother and not caring for her effectively. What do I do?
My mother (55) is on permanent disability and cannot walk or function for herself. She also has a long history of mental illness and clinical depression. My Step-father (59) has been ‘calling the shots’ according to her care since about 2003. She has had several ups and downs with both mental and physical health during their marriage since 2002. Each recovery is becoming worse and worse.

She has a history of prescription drug dependency that I believe is fed by my step-father and his inability to say no, or I fear, some alternative motives. I and other members of my family, have received phone calls from my mother with slurred words, absent minded conversation and memory loss. Some calls would be at odd hours. They have also attended family functions where she seamed to be over medicated; her actions mirrored her phone calls and included disheveled appearance and glassy eyed blank stares.

My step-father has made it almost impossible to have any say in her care or their current situation. Three weeks ago, my aunt found out the he had slapped my mother and threw a glass of water in her face. We have yet to understand why.

She currently has some sort of sores on her feet or legs that require surgery to remove and heal properly. It has been postponed due to her developing pneumonia…

My step-father claims he is financially unable to hire caregivers for her and that their insurance doesn’t cover it. This is after my mother received a large inheritance from her mother passing away, just two years ago. He is uncooperative when asked about the abuse, alternative care for my mother, or financial abilities.

I have a feeling there is a lot that we don’t know. But what we do know is that my mother shows signs of being over medicated, not cared for properly, and possibly abused by her spouse.

What steps can my family take to change the situation before it’s too late?
Thank you for reading and any response you can provide.

Best answer:

Answer by JON L
Ask questions get involved if you feel your mother is being mistreated say something. Go to the doctor with her once or twice, be nosy after all this is your mother it is your business.

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