I think my son might be thinking about doing marijuana or already doing it?? How do I stop him?

Question by A. Fenix: I think my son might be thinking about doing marijuana or already doing it?? How do I stop him?
Yes. I have a question. I think that my son may be using marijuana or may using marijuana or thinking about using marijuana. He’s only 14. He just entered high school.

I checked his history recently on the computer and I’ve been seeing marijuana related sites. I even saw a site called “grasscity”. I don’t see how this can be happening. I raised him to be anti-drug, but he seems to be slipping into it. I just saw site after site of how to grow marijuana, how to smoke it, how to enjoy it… It’s horrible.

My husband and I instilled good values in him… How could he be interested in this?

I really hope that he’s not smoking it. His father, my husband used to be a heavy and chronic marijuana user years before I met him. He’s already genetically predisposed to smoke marijuana.

I’m afraid that if he even smokes it once, he might become addicted to it. I don’t want to lose my son… I saw what it did to my neighbor’s child. He used to be a good kid, but now all he wants to do is marijuana even after he went to rehab. I felt so sorry for her. I don’t want my child to go down the wrong path.

He gets good grades in school, but I don’t want to see his future hazed up in marijuana.

What do I do? I really don’t want to confront him, or else he might say no. How do I tell? How do I have hard evidence?

Please help.

– a concerned mother.

This is probably my fault… I’m a bad mother.

Best answer:

Answer by Jenny S
I wouldn’t barge into his private life directly straight away. I am sure you are a wonderful mother. If you weren’t, then why do you care so much? You love your son and want the best for him. That ALONE is the most important thing a teenager needs of all. Love and stability at home.

Firstly, I would check out it wasn’t like a school work project. Here in England, teenagers like me have to take something called PSHE. That’s Physical Social Health Education. We study drugs and all sorts to prepare us for the future. I’m not sure if it is like that in America, but we have to research very adult topics, often.

Next I would look at his friends and changes in his behaviour. Perhaps he was just learning about what it is, beecause he might have heard a street name at school. Although there seems to be mutiple sites visited, he could be researching to hype up his street cred. You would be suprised to know how much pressure teenagers feel to be up to date and normal. Perhaps he was interested because someone in his class or school had just got hooked. Or he had read a horrific tale on the news. Just don’t put all your emotions into one source of information.

I think you should speak to your neighbour, his teachers or an agency that deals with youth issues. I suggest you do not confront your son for the time being. I also reccomend that you don’t put too much emphasis on him being a star all the time. Often, children who are treatedlike this bottle their emotions up and ”rebel as the collar is tightened on their neck”. Basically, it is better to be open and less firm on teenagers in some cases, otherwise they will desire rebellion. They work in opposites often.

I suggest you talk with him like an adult about these issues. It wouldn’t hurt to mention your husband’s problems, little by little. He is growing up, and whilst he will always be your son, he is turning into his own person. Sadly, his peers can contribute to this. Make sure you educate your son before dodgy websites do, or half-hearted friends who want to con him.

Let him know that it is you he should come to if he ever needs to learn something about the wider world. Chances are, you will have a much less hyped-up, out-of-proportion glorified opinion than these websites. And you will be the ones that will always love him through thick and thin, not bystanders who will come and go.

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