I have a drug abuse problem what do I do?

Published May 22, 2010

I know i am a addict I have been dealing with this problem for years. I started out drinking socially when I was about 15 wich quickly turned into me drinking and partying everyday. Then I started using meth about once or twice a month. I soon saw the error of my ways an stopped using meth an continued to drink but soon was drawn back into the lifestyle but this time I dove in head first using meth, weed, alchol, extacy, and usually some kind of prescription drug like xanax on a everyday bases maybe sometimes leaving one mixture of my deadly cocktail but never more than one or two. After a few years of this I found a woman who changed my life and was soon married and had a child. I continued to stay sober for about two years. But the whole time I was sober I never felt good I was always out of energy and haveing mental problems like depression and anger wich I believe are qualities I have always had an the reason I started to use I believe. But then a old injury started to hurt me an I soon found myself in a doctors office. As you can probally see where this is going they started to give me pain killers wich then I soon found myself spiralling down into addiction. An that is where is I am at in my life right now. The doctors prescribe me 4 hydrocodene pills a day wich I take in one dose. I take around 15 hydro’s a day just to get by. I quit about once a month for a week or so but soon find myself right back where i started. I have a full time job and a family to support so rehab is not an option. Also i want no one to know about this for I have gotten back all the respect that I had lost from my past drug abuse problems. I just want a normal life or so I think. One of the main things that always draws me back to drugs is my pure facination with an love of the whole lifestyle of being in the drug world.I love everything about it except the problems it causes my family wich know nothing about the duel life i lead.But all to often the get to see the bad side of me like my mood swings. So what i was wanting out of this is a little advice and really someone to just get all of this off my chest but any advice I would really appreciate it.
I also would like to note I never to seem having problems quitting with a little help. Its always the problem of staying sober I never know what triggers me to return it could be the tons of people who want me to buy or sale. They are always quick to stop as soon as I tell them that I no longer need anything but once my mind triggers that I want drugs there is no stopping a dope phene. I have always had the gift of being a guy that people trust for some reason I guess I am silver tongued so good that I often manipulate myself.
Thanx for all the quick responses an please continue to answer. I need all the views and opinions that I can get.

I have a drug abuse problem what do I do?

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