I can’t get off of Meth, pills, smokes and booze. Why?

35 Year old male (gay), semi-successful, 13 year relationship, nice looking once upon a time, weekly meth user, daily pill popper, nightly drinker, pack a day smoker, binge eater….about to give up. Been to detox, rehab, psychiatrists, physicians, family etc. I make no excuses or lies, it is what it is. I am a junkie. I don’t know how to stop. Drugs are a big part of my relationship, doctors give me pills to make feel better (sedatives, anti-depressants, ADHD pills, pain killers) I smoke meth Friday night through Sunday night, eat like a pig all week and sleep 14 hours a night. My weight has balooned up, I have high blood preasure, slow thyroid and I smoke like a train. Rehab taught me that I am an addict…I knew that already. Doctors tell me I am bi-polar and depressed, my boyfriend won’t stop using either…13 years of getting high together (that’s how we met)….educated (business degree) but never done much with it and I am so tired of this shit, that I want to die.