I am addicted to hydrocodone. =(?

Published May 17, 2010

I have been reading these blogs for awhile now, and I am finally writing. I took hydrocodone in January 2008. A guy at work gave me some. I loved the high it gave me and started going to the doctor for back pain that same month. I have been to doctor to doctor getting more in more pills. Alot of doctors wont give it to me, and alot will. I know that I have one more refill coming up in 2 weeks, and I know that after I take all of the pills (I am up to 6 per day 5/500) that that will be it. I know that I wont be able to get anymore, and to be honest I am scared. I took all 60 pills that I had for the month in less then 2 weeks, so I am waiting on my refill now. No one knows my addiction. I am married with a child and my husband has no idea. He has said a couple times that he thinks that I go to the doctor all the time because I want pills, but I don’t think he takes it seriously. I am embarrased by this and don’t want anyone to know. I used to be a meth addict, and only a few people know that, not even my husband of 3 years knows this. I enjoy the high I get from hydrocodone, but to be honest it makes me alot more irritbale then I usually am, and I feel better when I am off of it, but I always want more. I am afraid to go to a doctor and admit my addiction, it is embarrasing and I think they will be mad. I am excited to get my refill and have set a reminder on my phone for the morning of my refill so I can get it. It is so pathedic. I don’t know what to do. I have stolen hydrocodone from people that have had it at there houses, I would purposely go to my friends house to steal some of her boyfriends and then I would leave. I would go over there for randon reasons. I want to stop this. I stopped doing meth cold turkey, and I cant stop this because I like the way this make me feel and there is no come down, that is the best part. Also, I have used meth and coke a couple times while not having any hydrocodone to feel that void, but it didn’t work, (which is good) because I dont want to do those kind of drugs. I really need all the advice I can get right now. I heard about that detox medicine (sedexo) or something like that?

I am addicted to hydrocodone. =(?

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