how do i say goodbye?

Question by liebchen: how do i say goodbye?
i have been with the same man for 16 years. we are not married and have no children. we both have been involved with drugs and alcohol for the entire time that we have been together. now i am sober but he is not and shows no interest in becoming sober even though i went through rehab 7 1/2 months ago. when i went to rehab, he was adamant that i stay sober for the sake of our relationship. he gave me an ultimatum that if i were to ever drink again it would be over. i am still sober but he continues to use, and it is creating friction between us to the point to him not even being able to be civil to me. he constantly picks fights with me because he thinks i am drinking still, and i have not had a drop since i came home. he tells me he loves me dearly, but he is doing nothing to support my recovery, and i am working very hard because i want to have a good life with him. he is verbally abusive, and is always reminding me of how ” i messed things up”, but he is not willing to stop his own addiction. he’s very controlling, manipulative, and continues to blame me for everything. i have made my amends and i am not a “big book thumper”. i do not push my program on him at all, but i don’t understand how he expects me to stay sober when he is constantly pushing it in my face. i want a better life! i wouldn’t have gone to treatment if i didn’t! now i don’t know how to break free. advice?

Best answer:

Answer by bandaid_46
I guarantee you that if you stay with this guy sooner or later you will be off the wagon. I realize 16 years is a long time to be with someone, but there can be a good life ahead for you without him. I am pretty sure that you have heard all of this in rehab. You are not married, you have no kids. All you have to do is pack your things and leave.

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