How can I help her with her Binge Eating Disorder?
Question by Amanda: How can I help her with her Binge Eating Disorder?
I have a relative that I am very close to. She confides everything in me. I have known that she has struggled with a binge eating disorder for YEARS. Sometimes she overcomes it and actually does really good and eats healthy and loses a good amount of weight, but then all she has to do is eat one bad thing and it’s down hill from there. She goes on an all out binge for MONTHS at a time. About 6 months ago she had went from 227 down to 190 and was doing so great. It was mostly due to a bad gallbladder while she was pregnant, but still she was eating soooo heaIthy, I was so proud of her. But then she backslid again after the gallbladder was removed and now in the last 3 months is back up to 220! That’s 30 lbs in 3 months! I know it’s killing her inside, she tells me all the time how bad she doesnt’ want to be like that. I just dont know what to do for her. She CANNOT afford counceling. She has 3 wonderful kids and a great husband, but they won’t help her be strong. She has tried to tell her husband that it is like a heroine addiction and that she can’t control it and that she needs him to NOT give in when she asks him to buy her stuff, ( she don’t usually go out and buy it on her own). He tries not to give in, but then she begs him or sweet talks him and he gives in EVERYTIME! I feel sorry for him because he loves her so much and just wants to make her happy…but she is miserable being so big. She told him when they met 10 years ago that she had a problem with food, but at the time she was 117 lbs and had it under control. Well he didnt think she ate enough ( but she did, she was just eating super healthy and very causiously because of the BED) so he was aways telling her to eat.. and now she’s 220. She is getting sooooo depressed. She doesn’t even want to get out of bed anymore. She tried many different antidepressants years ago and they were not good for her, she didnt’ like the way they made her feel. Also, she has to be careful of differents meds cause she is breastfeeding a baby. She tries to do things more on the “natural” side anyway. Oh, and that’s another thing she totally beats herself up about, the fact that she is breastfeeding and still eats junk. She thinks that she is a HORRIBLE mother. She also says that she is terrified that if she doesn’t get it under control her 2 daughters will end up like her.
Please somebody tell me how to help her and her family. I can’t stand to see them like this. She just wants to have a happy life with her family. She is a great person but she is all the time telling me that she knows she is a greedy pig. I would hate to feel that way about myself. Can anyone tell me what to do to help her help herself. And please don’t be hard on her, she is hard enough on herself. She thinks her family would be better off if she were dead.
Does anyone maybe even know of someone that would councel her online for free? I know she would do it.
Best answer:
Answer by LisaC
Your friend needs to help herself be strong, and her family cannot control her eating disorder for her. There are many places which offer free or very reduced cost counseling. If you’re near a university, I’d check there. There is also Overeaters Anonymous. This is very complicated, but not something which she cannot work through if she has the right help. It may be a lifetime struggle for her. Medications to treat depression are only a part of the puzzle, not the whole thing. Without therapy to retrain herself and develop better coping strategies, she’ll fall into the same patterns time and time again.
There is no reason to be hard on her. She has a problem. Asking for help is the first step. You can be supportive to her, but she is going to need professional help. Check here below as a start. Good luck to you and your friend (and her family too!).
http://www.edreferral.com/Support_Groups_for_Eating_Disorders.htm
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