How can I get over this?

Question by bones_to_heaven: How can I get over this?
I was abused as a child, but I can’t seem to convince myself that it was real. I tell myself it wasn’t even a big deal…that people in the past went through worst, so it is justified. And I turned out fine, so what’s the big deal. But sometimes I just really hurt inside, and wish I had a home with a mother who loved me. Sometimes I have memories of the things she did to me, and it hurts so much, because I bet she was stressed. She was a single mother. She was a waiter. She raised my sister and I on her own. I just can’t seem to admit that it wasn’t my fault, and it’s tearing me apart. She’s normal now. She eventually went to college and got a better job. Less fiancial strain, I guess. I want to forgive her, because she is okay now. But it is so hard. What do I do?

Some hings she did:
–beat me with fists, broom, anything in reach
–bloody noses
–pull my hair
–bang my head against the wall
–when I was little, I would scratch myself after beatings. I don’t know why. when my mom found out, she called me crazy and “helped” me by scratching my neck and back
–tape my mouth shut with tape

Please help. I love her, but I want to *like* her. Counseling is not an option, so don’t suggest that.

Thanks.

Best answer:

Answer by EffYew
I don’t really know too much about this but I have an idea that might help. If counseling isn’t an option you could maybe find another girl like yourself (or a group of them, one thats not lead by a counselor) and you guys can talk about all the things that happened and once you have talked about them to someone else then maybe you can start to forgive her. I don’t know if that helps but I hope someone has a good answer for you and you eventually find peace.

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