HELP trouble with DYFS!!!?

Question by Blueberry tears: HELP trouble with DYFS!!!?
Problems with DYFS…need HELP!?
In 2009 I was in jail serving time because I had an illegal gun in my possion. I was cleaning it and it went off through my apartment floor. Nobody was hurt thank god. It was stupid that I had it and I regret what happened and did my time. While I was in jail my ex wife decided to go out and shoot dope, leaving our son for weeks at a time with family members. One day she tried picking up our son at my mothers and she was high and with another man that she had been cheating on me with. My mother called the cops and our son was taken and sent to live with my mother in law. I had no clue any of this was going on until I was released from jail. When I was released I had no son, no wife, no house, no car, and no money. She spent everything on drugs and tattoos and crashed my car. I wasn’t allowed to see my son for 8 months after I was release from jail because DYFS wouldn’t allow it. When we finally went to court they gave her custody back because she got her G.E.D., went to a parenting class, and was taking methodone. They granted me visitations on weekends with my mother present. They told me I needed to complete outpatient rehab (even though I am not a drug addict and have no drug charges unlike my ex), complete parenting classes, and anger managment ( even though I have no anger problems and never had any charges against me for any type of violent act). Because my son means so much to me and I refuse to walk away from him like my father did to me I am doing all of those things that the court has ordered me to do even though it is ridiculous. I feel I did nothing wrong except make one stupid mistake of having an illegal gun ( I didn’t even know it was illegal because I didn’t know the law in the state of Virginia because I had just moved there). I feel that my ex was the one who made this all happen and I am the one being penalized. The courts and DYFS are making me out to look like the bad guy when really I was always the better parent and bonded more my our son from birth. He’s my world and this is tearing me up inside. I hate seeing him go through this. My ex is still hanging out with drug addict ex cons and getting drunk on a daily basis and smokes in front of our son who has allergies, and drives illegally. She would be homeless if her mother didn’t enable her by sending her money and buy her a car. She is also getting welfare and milking the system making them pay for half of her rent…little do they know her mother pays the other half and utilities. She is a horrible mother and DYFS is on her side. I’m seeking a lawyer and I want to file a complaint against DYFS. My caseworker is the worst and can’t do her job. I’ll call her 8 times a week and leave messages and get no response. When she does finally call back she can never seem to give me a straight answer and seems to be on my ex’s side. They don’t know her and how she is….if they did they would take my son away again and I wouldn’t be able to get custody because I don’t have a car. I don’t know what to do anymore…but I’m not giving up on my boy. I just want DYFS gone. They are ruining my son’s life. They are supposed to help children not take them away from the ones you love them. I don’t blame them howver for taking my son away from his mother, just blame them for taking him away from me.
Thank you Becky…and yes I do pray. I will never abandon my son like mine did to me, no matter how much easier it would be to just walk away.
Thanks C C…I do not have any guns and do have a job and housing. I just am unable to drive because I don’t have a car which is something that I need in order to get my son back. I do have proof that she drinks on a daily basis and that she is hanging out with people I don’t want areound my son because they are professional scumbags. She tells me bragging all the time about how her mother buys her this and that and pays half her rent yada yada, and I know how her mother is because I have known her a long time. I’m only concerned for my son and this is a very frustrating situation because I see how it is affecting him. I have an appt. with a lawyer next week…hopefully this can all be worked out. I will ask that she has the hair follicle testing.

Best answer:

Answer by Becky
I am so sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, our court and welfare systems aren’t perfect and things like this happen. I’m glad you’re not giving up on your son though. I’m a Christian, so I would strongly encourage you to pray every day about your situation and open up the Bible. Trusting God and reading His word reveals so much wisdom in an unfair and insane world. Also, see if you can find an actual lawyer who may be willing to take your case pro bono or on a contingency basis. Stay in your son’s life and show how much you love him because even if things stay like this for a long time, he’s going to remember the stability, love, and support you’ve shown him when everything else was bad. God bless you!

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