Getting down by the day…am with a very critical hurtful guy?
Question by K D: Getting down by the day…am with a very critical hurtful guy?
I am feeling really helpless & today, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack after bursting into tears & rage at my partner once again criticising me. My teenage son from a previous marriage is a drug addict & currently in hospital after yet another prescription overdose attempt. Instead of my partner consoling me or offering me support, he just laughs at him or tells me he’s doing another cry for attention & no, I’m not allowed to go & see him at hospital. My partner is angry at thousands we spent in private rehab for my son who just got out, did it all over again & stole from my partner so I know he’s angry but we can’t just give up on him. My partner has been critical for years, I left him once & dated other guys when moving into my own place but he quickly moved back into my life begging for forgiveness & promising he’d changed. Two years ago we had a beautiful baby boy of our own. I thought maybe now he can see we’re a real family & I am commmitted, he would change but he hasn’t. He works every 2nd weekend & fulltime during the week, I work fulltime during the week too. Sometimes he goes away on weekends off shooting pests on farms which is his passion, certainly not mine. He’s always do you mind, are you gonna be ok baby if I go away & of course I want him to. To go & have a chilled weekend & come back happy. But usually the next day of returning, he’s back to his mean hurtful critical self. When he’s at work, he rings me saying he loves me but when he’s at home around me, he criticises me constantly, gets angry at the slightest thing. I told him about a funny practical joke me & the girls played on one of the other girls at work the other day & he got agro saying it was stupid & hurtful of me to think that was funny yet even she thought it was funny. I’m like what the…do you have a sense of humour anywhere inside of you. I’m easygoing with a childish sense of humour & try to see the positives in everything & everyone but he is critical, moody, agro & very serious. Just like his father. I’ve told him time & time again he only seems nice & in love with me when he’s on the phone & at work & not when he’s at home around me, he tells me all the time you’re just being silly. Yet continues to do it, just this morning I got upset at the call about my son being in hospital even though he’s going to be released shortly & he got angry at me getting angry & upset then took off with our baby son to his parents for the day telling me to call him when I calm down. He left me in tears & I was hysterical & just needed him. I felt so helpless & alone. I couldn’t believe he just left me like that today & left with our baby even if only for a few hours. He called me a psycho blah blah. Just writing this, I know the answers I’m going to receive, what the hell are you doing with this guy, get out again & don’t look back. Believe me, I’ve done it before, I can do it again, it’s just harder this time as we have a baby together but I’m just so confused as to why he treats me so kindly when he’s away at work from me then so nasty when he’s in my presence. Even when we’re down the shops, in front of other shoppers he’ll swear at me or say something nasty. I just walk off from him & people look gasping. Yet when I get angry with him in public if I’m just fed up, he’ll go into a rage in front of people & tell me I better shut up or else or just to get lost. I could keep ranting but I need a wine, bad source of relaxation but my god, I feel in despair right now.
Best answer:
Answer by Echo
You need some time out. Maybe get away from him awhile someway.
My personal opinion is that you would be a lot better off without him but I’m sure you will be the last person to see that.
How about finding someone to talk to. A member of the clergy, some kind of counselor, od maybe just an old family friend. How about just someone older that will sit and talk with you awhile?
Best of luck to you. I mean it
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