From a loser to a winner? Is this the way to be loved? (long but plz guys and girls help needed)?

Question by Parsa K: From a loser to a winner? Is this the way to be loved? (long but plz guys and girls help needed)?
I am 17 and most girls I know, know me as a “sweet, good, nice guy”. My best friend is what you can call a “bad ***”. Together, we are both “badass” at sports and guy stuff, We were the perfect duo. but I tend to care a lot more for girls. I do have to admit that in a “movie” sense, I would be the “sweetheart” and he would be the “bad boy”. I would listen to a girls problems and give support, and try my best to make them feel like the only girl in the room. He wouldn’t do anything like that. He seems to get more “attention” though. I want some love too. The first girl I love is a close friend ,but I don’t know what she thinks about me back. I think she is perfect for me, every girl I see has “dimmed down” in appearance since I started to like her and I really like her personality. She isn’t “popular” and has the same ring of friends I do. She wrote in my b-day card, ” I can’t believe someone like me ever met someone like you”. According to my friend, That’s just a trick for me to be a cushion to the girl for her problems and that she will use me and never look at me the way I want her to. I trust my friend because he has always been “successful” with girls. I was the straightedge, funny, “ok looking” , bad dancer, caring guy with good grades and he was the good-looking, party animal, good dancer, drinking,smoking doing drugs , treating girls badly, and failing classes. We are the closest friends imaginable as we always helped each other out since we were 4. I always envied him, as he received affection and love from girls that I only wish would come to me. I went to my friend for help. He grinned and promised to help me out with the girl I like. He said girls only like “badasses” and that I have to become one. his idea: ” You are a loser now , not a “badass” like me, so if you want to be a winner, you need to do everything I say”. His idea was that girls only like nice guys when they have had their fun with 50 “badasses”, are used up, no longer young, and want to “use” the nice guy for financial purposes only, not love. He said ” You don’t want that do you? You actually want to be somebody right? So start listening”. He tried to reprogram me and promised that I would be finally looked at by a girl. He made a lot of sense. He helped me lose 60 pounds, get a 4pak (working on six), learn how to fight, do drugs and alcohol and teach me HIS etiquette with girls (treating them terribly). We would stay up til 3-4 am working out and drilling exercises such where he taught me to treat girls badly. . Many of the girls I used to be friends with missed the “old me”. My friend said that they “missed using you, none of them would actually like the ‘sweetheart’ you”. I bought it cause he seemed to be right. Girls I never knew started to like me. I felt bad for losing my morals and my identity, but I finally had the thing I wanted the most, some actual affection. Will doing all this stuff be better than me being the “good” guy that I used to be? I don’t have the patience to wait15 years , and be , according to my friend, “used” as a “financial scratchpost” and an “accessory” to a girl who is “done”. Is he right? I feel like the “idiot , who can’t get a girl”.
I have never had confidence in who I was. It seemed like no girl likes me, and I didn’t think myself successful. The girl who made the card, I told her she is beautiful (my way of giving a hint) and she was shocked(she said her parents didn’t even think that). I helped her out when she was down just because that’s what i usually do, but I started to like her more than others. I really really like her. I gave her compliments because she also has low -self esteem.My friend made it seem like “I am not good enough for a girl,” so i started to say that every morning when i got up. When i fail at something, I beat myself up and have done that every day because my friend (through his success with girls) showed me that I ain’t worth s***. The girl I like never saw the “bad***” me because I wasn’t ready to show her. Don’t give cliches that aren’t true,and don’t say “Get confidence” because I tried the positive thoughts, working out etc and it did not work. No way for me to love myself

Best answer:

Answer by Ana
You shouldn’t feel like this. Not all girls like a bada** guy. Be you and don’t try to change your ways just because of your friend. One day, he will get in trouble for his bad ways and end up with no one. And to be honest, a guy like you would be my typical guy that has respect for a female, is kind, and has a genuine personality.

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