Drug addiction & trust issues in a marriage?

Published May 15, 2010

My fiance has been clean for 6 yrs, goes to meetings regularly, councils other men to help them kick the habit as well. He’s very dedicated to the program, if a guy is having a hard time, he invites them over & reads the books w/ them, talks to them on the phone, etc. BUT, he relapsed himself recently. He suffered a loss (a death) and he turned to heroin. He didn’t tell me, I found out because he passed out & I had to look at his phone to see what he had done. There were texts btwn him & another girl that has relapsed, she got the drugs for him. We talked, he explained everything and then he did it AGAIN. I found needles, spoon, etc. number for some guy named “Frank”. Anyway, we talked about it, he decided to go through a methadone detox & it was successful. He hasn’t used since & all is fine now. But, I feel like I can’t trust him anymore & I’m so sad because he is SUCH a special man. Every time he leaves now, I wonder. That’s not right. How do you get past this?
How am I an enabler? I confronted him & wouldn’t let up. I didn’t pretend it wasn’t there & moved merrily along.
Roxy . . . I did. I destroyed everything & I deleted the phone numbers.
I know. Heroin is worse than pot, etc. I think some of you are getting the wrong impression. I don’t live with a guy that’s constantly wasted. I live with a guy who goes to meetings, who helps others, who is the kindest person I know. He freakin’ relapsed. He put HIMSELF in detox. I’m trying to ask about how to deal with trust issues, not for people to tell me that my fiance is an @sshole. Where’s the human kindness? You have no idea how many people owe their life to him. It’s very sad.

Drug addiction & trust issues in a marriage?

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