Drug Addiction & Cronic Pain?

Published May 15, 2010

Been w/this guy 10yrs he had a bad cocaine problem. He moved out 4yrs ago & we’ve been off & on since. He got busted 8mths ago & had no choice(due to probation) but to get clean, attend meetings & all the things that go w/being in recovery. I need advice. Live in pain & be with him or end it.
See..I have a cronic pain. It began as TMJ & after many years got worse now I have osteoarthritis in left jaw joint/bone on bone extremely painful to do anything even eat. For yrs I lived in pain 24/7 cuz I was to scared to ask for help thinking I’d be labeIed a drug seeker. Well in 2005 I sought help & had an MRI the Dr. couldn’t believe I lived with that pain so long. I got put on low doses of narcotics… fast forward to today & a high tolerance. I take 60mg Oxycontin 3xday & (2) 5mg Oxycodone 3xday for breakthrough. I also take Feldene/Zanaflex & Amitriptyine. My pain is now 80% controlled but cuz my man is now off coke he wants me off the narcotics or else it’s over for us. Any advice?
He did say he would be willing to hold my bottle and dish out my meds everyday cuz he is convinced I have an addiction myself. He also says that I’m in denial about my addiction and that I need to wake up and realize this. Honestly though if I stop taking them I will get sick but I think my body is just used to them and it’s tolerance. I don’t take them to get high and don’t wake up with pills on my mind. He says there is no difference between tolerance & addiction. Is that true? I don’t know what to think or do cuz I do love him and want to be with him but I also know I can’t go back to the level of pain I used to live with. I am more scared of the pain than I am about withdrawls if I decide to stop taking them.
I take them as directed but he says he can’t be with anyone who is “using” and either I stop or we stop. He did say that if we stay together & I stay on my meds then he’ll start using coke & crack again. Nice huh? 10yrs down the drain cuz he got busted with drugs. He did not stop cuz he wanted to he was forced to stop. He’d still be doing it had he not gotten busted. I can’t believe he wants me to liv ein pain. He tells me to take Aleve/Advil/Tylenol etc etc and that my pain can’t be that bad that I need such strong meds. I get scripts from 1 Dr & get drug tested constantly so the Dr would know if I was taking more or less than I should. He wants me to give him my bottles so he can see what exactly I take I told him I’d show him the bottles but he wants all the pills in them so he can count them I guess. What the hell I’m 38yr old and being treated like a little kid & a piece of crap just because he’s an addict then I must be one too cuz of the meds I take everyday.

Drug Addiction & Cronic Pain?

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