Difference between addiction and impulsive?
Question by KG: Difference between addiction and impulsive?
What’s the difference between having an addiction and/or just being very impulsive? The reason I ask is because I can’t seem to put down alcohol. I feel like I am starting to have a problem and I’m one to do something about it so I voluntarily went to some AA meetings. Didn’t feel like I fit in the first one so I went to two other places. I spoke to a woman who’s been clean for 8 years and she says I may not be ready for AA … yet. Told her “do I need to loose everything to realize I need help?” She told me she could not answer that.
The definition of addiction is “being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming” –> I don’t wake up wanting alcohol but I have cravings for it; sometimes during the day, most at night. I’m not a party animal, but I love my wine and at times hard liquor. I’m what an alcoholic would call a functioning, closet alcoholic.
I’m in my 30’s so alcohol is not new to me. I’ve been drinking since the age of 16. Had my first shot when I was 11. Unfortunately my father thought it was okay to give his children shots during holiday get-togethers.
I’m one to drink a bottle (plus) wine in one sitting. I live by myself and wine goes bad quickly so drinking it within a 2 hour span because it makes sense. Had numerous blackouts, more now than before, but tell myself it’s okay to drink at my house because I’m not driving.
The definition of impulsiveness “is a personality trait characterized by the inclination of an individual to initiate behavior without adequate forethought as to the consequences of their actions, acting on the spur of the moment.” –> I’m very impulsive! There are times where I will drink what I want, then out of no where stop and go to bed. I may think at that time I want a drink but change my mind after I bought it.
Hopefully you read this and not prejudge. I am looking for guidance. Anyone who can relate and give me feedback would be great. I’ve already spoke to a psychologist and she told me my drinking may have something to do with my past. At the present time I am not depressed. I definitely know what depression is. I have a very lengthy past where I was the victim of many cruel non-related acts of violence and just plain old wrong doing. My boss at one point thought that I might be drinking to “get over” my past, but I feel I’ve “dealt” with it.
Thanks for reading. Appreciate your time.
Best answer:
Answer by etcha sketch
I am in recovery. Have been in and out for 21yrs. Thank God AA was there for me when i needed them to be, but I am not a 12 stepper big book thumper. Never was…and never will be. some people NEED that interaction everyday, or @ least every week. AND, as one gets sober for a long time under their belt, need them less and less.
I just prefer NOT to constantly tell my brain that I am an alcoholic/drug addict….ALTHOUGH, I DO talk about it quite a bit on Y! QandA. In a way, this site has taken up the slack for me that i would usually go to a meeting for.
Anyways…..The definition of an addict (from one to another) is this: An addict is a person who cannot control the cravings for wanting MORE, once a substance (or anything, really, for that matter) is introduced into his or her system.
I am allergic to alcohol and drugs because my life is good, and fairly operated smoothly when I do not drink or drug. I have very little cravings for any of it AFTER about 3mos clean, dry, and sober. BEFORE that first initial 3 mos, it is ALL I can think about, and pretty much ALL I can do NOT to use.
Once I fall off the wagon, and relapse……ONCE I TAKE THAT 1ST DRINK or DRUG…….The first sip of alcohol, or the 1st hit of dope, I CANNOT CONTROL the CRAVING I get wanting MORE. I cannot stop. I CANNOT STOP! I CaNnOt StOp! The bottle is empty…..until tomorrow. The store is closed until tomorrow. OR I am broke…..UNTIL my next paycheck! The CRAVING will be there as long as I think It is still OK for me to drink or use. As long as it is ok, I will do it.
ONLY until I admit that I am allergic to the first drink, or drug…..and realize that it is the first drink or drug that I am allergic to, can I then see that allergic reaction. It is the REACTION to the first drink or drug that is the ADDICTION.
ADDICTION = ALLERGY = INABILITY TO CONTROL CRAVINGS
The word impulse just does not figure into the equation. It is a total nother beast. Just because you change your mind after you bought it doesn’t mean anything. YOU KNOW YOU STILL HAVE IT FOR THE NEXT TIME THAT YOU WANT IT. The craving will still be there FOR tomorrow. It was only an impulse BUY, NOT an impulse craving. Alcoholics DO NOT have impulse cravings. NORMAL people who are not alcoholics HAVE impulse cravings. Thier cravings are not out of control. Their lives are not out of control due to their impulse cravings.
Feeling that you have delt with your ugly past…is fine. I have delt with mine too. dealing with an ugly past is not something that you just deal with it and let it go. It is something that you live with everyday because it MAKES us who we are, and what we are. it never really goes away. Nor does the pain of having to live with who we used to be whether of our own doing or not.
Dealing with you past, and being an alcoholic are two different things. It is difficult to deal with both of them at the same time. I tried that, and failed many times.
The key is this: Pick one to deal with 1st, then tackle the other, and then the other, and then the other (because there will always be something to deal with, right)
The right thing to deal with FIRST is being the alcoholic because how in the heck can one deal with ANYTHING properly while under the influence? Priority MUST be respected.
In AA we say: When you loose things, and get them back only to loose them again,, then you may be an alcoholic. BUT no-one can know for sure if you are or not. THAT is only something YOU can/will/have to decide for yourself. If you are having issues with your job, THAT is a symptom. Got bills? (because your $ $ is being spent on something else like booze/wine/ beer/dope) THAT is another symptom. Bad relationships? Yet another…… criminal activity? yet another…..guilt, shame, worthlessness? and another…..
The big book says if you are not sure whether or not you are an alcoholic or not…..then you should try some controlled drinking. Buy some, drink some, put it away before it is gone. Then try not to drink any for 1 month. or 2months. If you can operate your life in a positive fashion after 3 months without alcohol then you probably can think yourself not to be one. Do this a few times a year…if you are successful, then you do not need AA.
Chances are…..if you are even on Y! asking this question, then you probably should look into getting yourself some help whether it be from AA, or your DR, or your best friend, or God, or whatever. WHEREVER.
Please do not take as long as I did to realize I am an alcoholic/drug addict. It ruined my life many times over.
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