Definition and Key Thoughts of Child Abuse and Neglect
Definition and Key Thoughts of Child Abuse and Neglect
People who have been abused have had their boundaries violated in a horrible way. Healing from abuse involves restoration of healthy boundaries and of trust.
The counseling process must be gentle and not contribute to an unintentional rewounding or shaming of the person.
Follow the clients lead in the telling of his story. Reassure him that the abuse was not his fault.
One of the questions often asked by someone who has been sexually abused is Why me?Sometimes feelings of worthlessness result from sexual abuse.
As the counselor, you need to keep your own anger in check to provide a safe environment for the client to truly share.
Action Steps
Treatment is crucial for abused children. The majority will need some type of medical and/or psychological help. However, the first step is to stop the violence. This may involve legal procedures to remove a perpetrator. Note: Counselors who suspect a child has been abused must report this information to Child Protective Services.
Assume three things in the process of treatment:
1. The problem is treatable and the abused person will overcome the abuse.
2. The person is not responsible for the abuse; he/she is only responsible for his/her recovery.
3. The person needs to express, accept, and be prepared to deal with his feelings in order to heal.
1. Be Patient
Healing from sexual abuse is a process and people will vary in the amount of time required for their healing.
It takes courage to seek help for healing, to talk about your experience, and to bring what was once in darkness into the light.
2. Grieve Your Loss
Much has been taken from you, so you are allowed to feel the pain and grieve the loss.
Allowing yourself to feel the feelings will help you regain some of the power you need.
3. Regain Control
Being believed and being able to say what happened have been the first
steps.
You have permission to stand strong, to say no, to be empowered over
the one who has exerted power over you.
4. Find Support
Attending a group for survivors of abuse/neglect can be an excellent next step.
5. Establish Boundaries
You now need to learn how to take care of yourself and re-establish healthy boundaries. What are the healthy boundaries you need to establish?
Be sure trusted people are aware of those boundaries. Thats why others will need to be let in on what is happeningno matter how painful. You may need their help in dealing with the abuser.
This will take the form of (1) speaking the truth to the abuser, (2) having the support of others in the Christian community, and/or (3) informed withdrawal from the abuser.
If the abuser will not honor the boundaries, then other strategies may need to be put in place.
6. Know that You Will Heal
You do have a bright future. Youre not a victim, but a survivor.
You may have lost a lot, but you are not ruinedfor the future. God can heal you.
7. Trust God
Know that God did not leave you nor was He working against you as this abuse occurred.
Plan on several more visits back to discuss the spiritual concept of Gods love even in the midst of such painful circumstances.
8. Get More Intense Guidance
As much as you can help with the spiritual aspect, the person may need
some professional guidance in order to truly deal with the depth of pain that abuse/neglect causes.
Refer to a Christian counselor with expertise in this area.
Symptom Assessment and Child Abuse and Neglect
Assessment InterviewRule out any suicidal risk, depression, or medical concerns (especially if the abuse was recent).
Assess for the type of abuse perpetratedits degree and its history. Sometimes the person is seeking help for other problems that actually stem back to an earlier abuse.
You need to get him/her to talk about that core issue.
Be careful, however, not to re-traumatize the person with your questions. Trust and safety are of vital importance.
The following questions are most appropriate for a victim of child abuse or neglect who is now either an adolescent or adult. Of course, these questions will change depending on who you are interviewing, and what that persons age is:
Q1 What has happened that has brought you here today?
Q2 Is this the first time youve sought help?
Q3 Tell me about your family. How are things going at home?
Q4 Tell me about your past. Have you had any painful or unusual things happeneven a long time ago?
Q5 How long did that go on?
Q6 Can you tell me who was doing that to you? (If the person seems reticent, explain that you need to know in order to help him, others who might be abused, and the abuser himself. In addition, if your client is a minor and still in contact with the abuser, immediate