Dating a recovering alcoholic?
Question by Fiamma: Dating a recovering alcoholic?
I have been with this guy for over 2 years, and he has increasingly gotten better and better, but when I met him he was drinking every weekend, sometimes on binges that would last for almost a week. He’s had DUI’s, had his dog taken away, his license taken away, an interlock put into his car, been thrown in the drunk tank, and been hospitalized for being suicidal when he’s drunk.
But in the past year he’s really got himself together. He has a good job that he enjoys and he’s very responsible at. And when he’s sober, he’s an amazing guy. Sweet, considerate, funny, etc.
But every couple months he “relapses,” and the past few weekends he’s been drinking (and trying to hide it from me.) On the weekend we were talking at 9am and he was already getting drunk, so I told him I had to let him go (I made it clear to him some time ago that I will not be around him when he’s drinking.) Throughout the day he sent me these random texts, asking me if I was going to cheat on him, telling me to stay away from him, deleting me from his facebook as his girlfriend, then accusing me of being selfish for not listening to him pour his heart out about something he was worrying about that day. Then he deleted me from his facebook completely. Then 2 minutes later he readded me.
I’m just not sure what to do…he is a good guy and I do love him, and he loves me (when he’s sober) and he’s so awesome (when he’s sober), I just don’t know what to do. We’ve been together for so long and weathered so many storms, I don’t really want to quit…but at the same time, I can’t keep doing this forever. We can’t live together because I refuse to be around him when he drinks, and obviously I wouldn’t feel comfortable having kids with him.
I know no one is perfect, and we all have our “skeletons in our closets.” My sister says that we’re all a little crazy and we’re obviously in love, and it makes me feel like maybe I’m being too picky, or expecting too much. I mean, we all have our crap, right?
Advice is welcome, and thanks!
Best answer:
Answer by O.o
We all have our crap, but we get to choose the crap we put up with.
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Brad's Journey: Running to Overcome Addiction
Filed under: crack cocaine relapse
In 1993 he moved to Vancouver and by 1995 was living on Vancouver's notorious downtown east side and using crack cocaine. He had … He relapsed several times literally “running into a revolving door of recovery houses and jail,” he says. And then one …
Read more on The Province (blog)